Dungeon Upgrade

[Cleaning up the Draft folder.  This one I started in July of last year…..]

Ever have one of those brainstorms where you think to yourself “wouldn’t it be great if I had the time, money and space to do…..something”?  Yeah, me too.  Though I have the time, I don’t yet have the money or space to culminate my dreams in that particular venue.  So I have to make do.

Essentially what I have right now is a multi-use area that is in the basement of my 19th century house. While the walls are made of fieldstone (and a very ancient form of mortar) someone in their wisdom decided to put particleboard over it probably somewhere in the 1960s to make an ad-hoc workshop and pesudo man-cave. The things that were left behind by the previous owners suggest that. Low ceilings, exposed joists, it’s not exactly what one would want for a play area. Certainly Melanie Rose and her merry band of contractors would probably manage to have a field day with this space. I, am not them, nor do I have an unlimited budget to make my dreams come true. In essence, I’m going to be doing the best I can with a lot less.

At present my wife uses the area for her recumbent bike, and at times I’ve had a weight bench there, as well as my spanking bench that I bought in the early 2000s on eBay. More than one person either working on the house or servicing the furnace has confused it with a piece of exercise equipment, and I didn’t have the heart to tell them what it was really for. I’ve dabbled with the idea of getting another bit of kink furniture, but with the limited space it really doesn’t make much sense. I thought about getting a cut-down version of a St. Andrew’s cross, but the few kinky furniture builders I contacted wanted very expensive prices for what essentially would be a smaller size of a standard cross.

Even though I’ve had many months and years to think about reorienting the area for kink play, there’s just a lack of actual space, and limited ability to rearrange things semi-permanently for my needs. Too, it’s somewhat damp at times, so I can’t store my toys down there (way too much invested to do that, I’ve actually been rather fortunate my spanking bench hasn’t mildewed over the years), and putting up things like sconces, or kink-type decorations would be a rather large red flag for any repair folks that might have need to access the basement.

Over the years I’ve thought about the upstairs bedroom that we used to use for guests. There are 2 bedrooms there, but one is used for storage, and it has a rather low ceiling to begin with, and the other bedroom is mostly taken up by a large queen size brass bed. So I’m back to considering the basement.

It’s really been my ‘go-to’ playspace over the years. In the last year my Pet and I have done some cleaning and rearranging, but I’d really like to make it less like a part of the basement and more of a dedicated space. The only problem being my wife uses it as the idea place for her indoor bike riding… Can’t very well have both things going on in the same small square footage. So the conundrum remains.

Perhaps I do need a kinky contractor.

Keep kink in your heart

It’s January, 2024. It will be several months before my pet can return from VA to visit. In the meantime, I have to keep occupied and attempt to keep things fresh for when she does arrive. Which is a tall order when you’re basically in a holding pattern until that occurs.

In the interim, I have a few things I’m needing to do with the house to get things ready for when she does arrive. The area of the basement where we normally play needs a bit of a ‘spruce-up’ and I need to dig into my toy collection and re-catalog everything I have, with the intent of paring down some of the items that are redundant, (like the 4 sets of hospital restraints I bought on eBay 10 plus years ago) and the metal restraints that probably won’t fit her. No point in holding onto them, they take up space and might be better served in someone else’s care.

Other parts of the house need sprucing up as well. My learned habit of ‘pack-ratting’ has gotten out of hand to the point where every room in the house pretty much has a pile of this or that in it and needs to be pared down, donated, tossed or otherwise dealt with. Definitely don’t want to be on a future episode of ‘Hoarders’.

I’ve been thinking about posting more in this blog about my kink journey, where I came from, where I’ve been and where I plan on going. My girl and I have been conversing about ‘what comes after’ when we’re finally under the same roof, so it might be a good idea to catalog that, and have something to rely on when the time comes. Even though my far-flung off plans for the future might have to be changed in 10-15 years, depending on housing costs, retirement assets and the like. There are certain areas of this country where kink isn’t exactly understood (or welcome), so that has to be factored in as well. So, there’s something else for me to do.

Just a little something something about thoughts that have been percolating in my brain of late. I didn’t blog much in 2023, having switched to a new hosting service due to my last one increasing costs by 400% (still think that was ridiculous) caused more angst that I really wanted (basically had to create 2 established blogs from scratch). We’re in a new year, so why not turn over a new leaf? Why indeed. We’ll see how successful I am.

Keep the Holidays Merry

We’re deep in the Christmas season, and my pet and I are still long distance.  The fact of the matter is, for the forseeable future that’s going to remain the case.  Even so, we try to celebrate the holidays best that we can, maintaining our connection and checking off another season til we can see one another again.

Be that as it may, we make every attempt to keep our dynamic fresh.  We write one another every day, there are other means of communicating that we make use of, phone calls, texts and even video chats every now and again, along with pictures, many many pictures sent hither and yon.  We’ve been managing to keep ourselves occupied with this for nearly 7 years now.  Our goal is for one day to be together, but until then, this is what we have.


Broken Links

While I was researching one of my recent posts, I discovered that a fair few places that I had used over the years to purchase items are no longer viable.  The websites are gone, the people that ran them seem to be no longer in the scene, or just gave up on the whole business side of it, because of, oh, I dunno, reasons?

Add in the fact that it’s getting harder and harder to find new businesses that have the quality of product to replace the ones that have gone by the wayside.  Sure, I could shop at established places like The Stockroom, or Damax, but the former does tend to import a good amount of their product from China, or it’s mass produced, so therefore a lesser quality (think Chinese steel) and the latter is overseas, just in the other direction.  And a bit pricier because of location, they’re usually one offs, and I’m probably only going to order one of his wares in the near future.  And don’t get me started on Swedish Collar.

Etsy is definitely a possibility, considering that a lot of people go there to sell their wares, but you have to take a chance with quality as you really don’t know the people, feedback on the reviews can be spotty, so it’s a lot like Internet dating anymore.  Separating the wheat from the chaff can be an expensive prospect.  Honestly, right now about the only things I’d be in the market for would be furniture for the future (BDSM variety) and some metal toys. 

Fortunately, none of the big box home improvement stores will be going out of business anytime soon, and repurposing stuff found there is relatively easy.  It doesn’t always even require the ability to weld.  Kink(dot)com managed to prove with plumbing supplies, one could easily construct a bondage frame that would be inexpensive, very adaptable, and fit almost anyone.  Put it in a room where it wasn’t a problem screwing the contraption into the floor and you’re all set.

I’m certainly not saying there aren’t quality vendors anymore.  It’s just I’m finding the ones I’ve been familiar with, are now gone.  But many more have taken their place, and in spite of the market being swamped with a lot of less than stellar quality wares, the fact that BDSM is becoming more mainstream does mean that there will be more stuff to choose from in the future.  One just has to shop wisely.


Our ‘Chair’

A kinky friend of mine posted today about a session she and her Master had with a particular piece of furniture they own.  It easily reminded me of many conversations my Pet and I have had over the years about the inclusion of a similar piece of furniture that could be incorporated into our play.  She’s sent me pictures of different types, each more ornate than the next.  Certainly, any one of them could be fantasy fodder for any type of scene, from basic worship up to and including detailed BDSM play.

While I was composing an answer for my friend’s blog, I began relating a story about how a rather unique chair came to become a treasured memory for my Pet and I.   While I was writing, I thought instead of posting it there, I would write about it here.  So here’s the story.

It was in 2018, we were meeting in Harrisburg, PA for a visit equidistant to one another.  We were going to play, but we also decided to do a bit of sightseeing, and one of the places we went to was the Fire Museum there.  Amongst the other items in the building was a set of rather ornate chairs that apparently were used by some quorum at one time or another and were preserved for posterity by the Harrisburg Fire Department.

Suffice it to say, my Pet thought it would be a neat idea to have me pose in the chair, and take a picture, then pose with her kneeling (or sitting) at my feet and take another.  Over the years it’s been one of our favorite pictures, and considering how we like the idea of incorporating a ‘Chair of Honor’ into our plans for the future, it seemed like a good way of commemorating the occasion.


We planted a money tree!

Ok, don’t get your knickers in a twist.  They don’t exist literally.  Lemme ‘splain.

After our most recent visit/trip, we determined that in order for future visits to occur and not incur heavy use of my credit cards (lodging, food, emergencies) it would be best to start socking away money somewhere to pay for them.  We’d discussed this before, but never really did anything with it.  Sure, $10-20 here and there was set aside, but bills, unforeseen expenses, and good old-fashioned emergencies occurred in between and ate up the nest egg.

So this time we made a pact and I opened a new savings account at my credit union.  A separate account that’s not tied to my personal ones that I pay my bills out of.  It needed to be accessible to me if I had to draw funds out in a hurry (through PayPal more than likely), so I also had a debit card attached to it.  Yeah, one more card to carry/keep track of.

We’re both contributing to it.  Since she makes less than I do, she kicks in what she can and I double the amount on my end.  That way it will build up more quickly and will be available come the time when she is going to travel here.  Savings accounts draw interest on balances, so as it grows, it will add to that too.

I figure by the time of her first visit in 2024 we should have a tidy sum accumulated.  And we can continue to add to it as time progresses.  In the meantime, I’m paring down my credit card debt.  Hopefully, by 2026, I can be debt free.  At least that’s the plan.