The other day when I was at work, sitting in the breakroom after the end of my shift, I was texting to my slave.  She was at her workplace and lamenting over the fact that she was feeling tired, having not slept enough the night before (this is a recurring problem)  Being me, I had a remedy in mind that would work just fine in perking her up, though at the time I wasn’t entirely positive that she’d be interested in doing it, and I wasn’t about to jeopardize her job by having her be caught by a client doing something out of the way and out of bounds in what she should be doing.  So I mentioned I had a solution but wasn’t certain if she wanted to hear about it.  She (predictably) was curious and asked what it was.  I checked that she was sure she wanted to know.  She replied, yes, she did. To wit, here’s the conversation…As you might be able to tell, she wasn’t completely fazed by my suggestion. It wasn’t an order specifically, but she wanted to do it and she was good about it and obeyed. She was back a few minutes later and informed me that it worked like a charm. She was no longer tired, as a matter of fact, she was aroused, feeling very submissive,  and happy to have connected with me in this way.  Not that we need our bond solidified more than it is, but when you’re unable to be together whenever you wish, you have to make changes, create opportunities when and where you can.

After that, I went on home and she returned to work.  But it made us both smile.  And that’s a win in my book.

Hurry up and wait

Hurry-Up-and-WaitOur original plan was to get together every couple of months to keep things fresh in the relationship.  Due to financial constraints, that plan has been shelved at least until spring of 2019.  It certainly brings neither of us any joy in stating this, let alone living it, but as we repeat to one another all too often “it is, what it is.”  As infuriating as that statement may be, it’s just the damnable truth.

For me, what makes it all the more untenable is the fact that my girl is able to play in my absence, due to her need for companionship beyond what’s possible with me.  She’s presently exploring a poly situation with a couple in her area, and (naturally) even that’s not a cakewalk.  It has had its own shoebox of drama, that she’s had to navigate as best that she can.

I just find more and more that I’m back to being on the sidelines.  Where I swore that I didn’t want to be again.  Yet here I sit, day in and out, week and out, month and out, not doing anything while my toys start to gather dust again.  Yes, this is a rant.  It’s not however, a rant against my girl or anyone else.  Merely expressing myself here in print, because I’m getting more and more frustrated and I just need some place to talk about it, and well, here’s a place.  I’ll caveat it to say I’m not IN ANY WAY blaming anyone about what makes the situation the way it is.

It is this way because of money for the most part.  (Doesn’t it always in some way end up being the culprit?) I can’t solely afford to foot the bill for another trip to meet my girl.  I’m certainly in the process right now of paying for my own bills, dealing with my household debt, and attempting to sock away as much money as I can into my 401k, since my Union decided to kowtow and knuckle under instead of fighting for a pension that has been paid into for 30+ years.  Just another in a long line of concessions they’ve given up.  Not for nothing, but in 18 months, when it’s time to negotiate the 2020 version of the contract, I’m almost completely resigned to the fact that the union will be presented with two untenable options.  Either agree to a reduced payment from the company for the new 401k plan they started this year, or incur more payments from the rank and file for overpriced health care insurance.

Anyway, I’ve said my piece.  I’m disabling comments on this, because it’s a rant.  I don’t expect or desire commentary on this.  Thanks for your attention, providing you made it this far through the post.

It’s all about the numbers

I’ve mentioned before that I work in retail.  I’ve been doing that for the last 32 years give or take.  Now that I have less time ahead of me than behind me, I have to give serious thought about what I’m going to do about the time when I’m no longer working.  IE: how to pay for retirement and attempt to live comfortably, at the very least.  

I have an important decision coming up next week.  It involves my future, my retirement and some other issues that will be happening in the months and years to come.  Specifically, I have to vote on a referendum that’s occurring at work. 

At my work, the business is going through its own transition.  The company is in the midst of a bankruptcy, and they’re attempting to find ways to get rid of debt, and attempt to keep old debts from staining their ability to go forward.  One of the major sticking points is the agreement they made with the union that I’m a member of, when they last negotiated a contract in 2017.  They stated at that time, they were obligated to continue to fund the pension plan they’d been supporting for the last 20 some odd years.  Now, they want to do away with that (as so many companies are doing these days), and instead invest in a 401k plan to ‘benefit’ their workers.  Unfortunately, that means screwing over their employees in the long run, since pensions are guaranteed, and something that’s based on investments is not.  Drastic changes in markets, in investments and badly managed portfolios can be disastrous to 401k’s over time, but though the company is aware of that, they’d rather save money in this way and continue to plow it into risky management issues that they’ve been doing for too many years already.

The union hierarchy at this point knows they’re in a bind.  The judge that is overseeing the bankruptcy this past week ok’d a plan by the company to reward executives for essentially staying at their desks, by giving them incentive bonuses.  At the same time, this 401k plan is being floated to the union rank and file, and there’s a vote coming up next week to decide whether or not to accept it.  If the vote goes against the proposal, the company has a few options open to it.  They can go one of two ways.  Ask the judge to throw out the contract that was enacted last year (forcing the union to strike) or attempt to re-negotiate with the union for a lesser payment on the pension plan they’re already unwilling to support as of March of this year.

I’ve been going back and forth about this since I learned about it early last week.  I have a 401k with the union that I’ve been a member of for a while now.  From an information video that was published this afternoon, the union is saying that the new money coming from the company would be folded into the present union 401k, not a new one set up by the company, which was sort of presented last week.  Up to now, the 401k through the union was funded by yourself alone, the company did NOT do anything in the way of matching funds or kick in money of their own.  This seems to be the thing that’s going to change.  The pension that I’d been counting on is more than likely not going to be there when I reach retirement age around 2032.

I’m really not sure whether or not to support this initiative.  I honestly don’t think it’s going to matter one way or another, since there’s not likely to be a lot of people at the meeting that I go to next Tuesday.  At the ratification meetings for contracts, generally attendance is abysmal.  A lot of people who are members of the union don’t bother to vote, even though there are things they then complain about, but if you don’t show up to support things, in my mind you lose your right to bitch about it afterward.

Both the wife and my girl have noted I’ve been more melancholy lately.  I’m fairly sure this has a lot to do with it.

Decisions, for better or worse

Over the last 39 hours I’ve dealt with what seemed like excruciating pain from my ankle, only to have it abate over the course of the last day.  I’m still at a loss as to what originally caused it, since I don’t actively recall twisting it in such a way as to cause it to hurt so.  Though in my addled brainpan I seem to recall it hurting somewhat as I was ascending the stairs to the bedroom at about 4 am on Wednesday, having been rousted from the couch and propelled up there rather unexpectedly.  4 1/2 hours later, there was pain where there hadn’t been before.

Now, if I had gone to bed originally when I had intended, around 11:30 the night before, it’s entirely possible that I could have avoided the whole sorry affair.  Or it very well might have happened anyway.  Such is the way of decisions, even when you’re not necessarily making them consciously.  We all have those moments when we think “should I go left, or right?” and then make our choice and go with it.

This morning when I attempted to call in sick (yes I know what I said the night before) I was faced with a further dilemma when it came to my attention an executive was due at my workplace and TPTB (The Powers That Be) would prefer if I was there.  Could they have gotten along without me?  Sure, they could have, it’s not as if the workplace was swamped by any stretch of the imagination, my being there didn’t increase sales by a large quantity (if at all), but they wanted to put on a good show, so they needed everyone they could get to be there to do so.

As it turned out, it worked for the better, since the pain, while palpable in the morning (even the wife noticed I was limping as I left the bedroom at 6 am) slowly went away over the course of my workday.  Where I was definitely noticeably favoring my right foot in the morning, by mid-day it was feeling better and I was putting more weight on it.  By the time I left work around 4:30, I was able to go up and down stairs quickly and nimbly, something that was quite impossible just 8 hours before.

Of course now, at a few minutes before midnight I’m faced with the same situation.  Which of course my wife referenced before she went upstairs about 10 minutes ago.  Stay up and sleep on the couch eventually, or go to bed.  I think in this instance I’m going to choose the latter, and cross my fingers (and toes) there’s no return of the ankle pain.

As an aside, I noted on a friend’s blog she was nominated for a 3 Quote Challenge thinger.  In the same vein, I give you Benjamin Franklin:

“For the want of a nail the shoe was lost,
For the want of a shoe the horse was lost,
For the want of a horse the rider was lost,
For the want of a rider the battle was lost,
For the want of a battle the kingdom was lost,
And all for the want of a horseshoe-nail.”

Off to bed.  Good night, Neverland.

Time Away

My wife and I are taking out first ‘away’ vacation in about 9 years. The last time that we went away for an extended period of time was 2009. We did 2 vacations that year. Over the Memorial Day weekend, we drove to the Outer Banks of North Carolina (OBX for short) rented a really nifty house with not only a jacuzzi but an inground pool (I know, right?) but it was less than a mile from the Atlantic Ocean. Really nailed a good deal on that one. Later in the year we took a week and drove up to Grand Island near Buffalo, NY and rented a house on the Niagara River. Hot tub, in-ground pool, well-stocked game room, very modern kitchen and all the amenities. My wife even contracted with a local chef to come out and cook for us. Granted, that was a little pretentious, but she was a very good cook and the meals she made were especially scrumptious (as I recall, it was 9 freaking years ago)

In the intervening years, there were times that we could get away, but for one reason or another, it didn’t happen. Life, as the saying goes, has a habit of getting in the way. So you either make the time, or it passes by without much having been changed. Too, my wife’s cockatiel (Oliver) was getting older, and she wasn’t much interested in going away, putting Oliver up with friends and then sometime during our time away hearing that little Oliver had passed away. So again, we didn’t go anywhere. And again, the years passed by.

Last June, Oliver finally passed on. Even so, even though I had several weeks of vacation time, there really didn’t seem to be the ‘right’ moment to go away together. Again life, in it’s myriad and mysterious iterations, got in the way. Through a bit of happenstance, I was able to drive to Virginia in early November to meet my then Mistress, but a trip for myself and my wife didn’t come together. And then there were the holidays.

Finally, we came to 2018 and the ever ensuing conundrum of how to use up my vacation time at work before I lose it. My wife doesn’t have this sort of problem, she’s been retired since 2005; every day is a vacation! It always seems to boggle me how I manage to stretch 4 weeks of time off from work to the last possible minute. And it does tend to drive my supervisor up the wall a bit too. He’d much rather I didn’t take any time off at all. (Fat chance, I earned every second of that time off, Bob!)

Basically, the plan was I was going to take off LAST week for my vacation and be at work THIS week for an important visit from one of the upper-level supervisors.  However,  this didn’t work out the way it was originally planned.  So here I am on the week that had been planned for over a month ago.  But whatever.  The point is, we’ve been able to get away, albeit only a short drive from home.  But away we are and doing things together.  Like we did back in ’09.  

Although we packed enough to be away for a lot longer than 3 days.  But that’s another post…for another day.