Saga of the “What If’s..”

giphy.gifI was laying in bed last night, just before going to sleep, and the temperature outside was a balmy -6°F when it hit me.  What if we had a fire in the house right now?  It’s not an impossibility.  The house is over 170 years old.  Having gone down to the basement, there are indications of a previous fire in the neighborhood of the living room fireplace, so in the past history of the house, there was some sort of disaster, or at least some timbers were heavily singed.  Since we don’t know the history of the house really past the 1870s (that’s as far as the title search went) we’re forced to speculate a little bit about the ‘what if’s’ that occurred back then.

But again, what if there was a fire in the house?  Would we get out in time?  How many of our possessions would be salvageable?  Moreover, would we be able to catch the cat to save his little furry butt as well?  Naturally there are pressing issues about scene items, like my flogger collection, and other BDSM toys, how much of them would be destroyed, lost to water damage, smoke and so on.  One of our wedding presents was a flogger made by an artisan who’s no longer crafting her wares.  Matter of fact, one can’t hardly find a reference to her work anymore on the web, but go back 25-30 years ago, and she was a highly respected and sought after craftsperson.  Weird sometimes how that happens.  Lost to the whims of history, even in BDSM lore.

I started this post a week ago, but am finishing it up now, fyi.  A couple of days ago as I was thinking about the scenario that began this post, I thought about buying a safe for my more valuable and less ably replaceable scene items (along with some other necessities, like insurance papers, birth and marriage certificates, as well as other important documents and valuables).  We do have a small safe that my FIL owned, but it’s been in storage for the past 20 years, and it actually weighs about 200 lbs (~91 kgs).  Too, I don’t believe we ever ascertained or found the combination, so at present the safe door is open, so we don’t have to pay a locksmith to open the damn thing.  Consequently, that wouldn’t do very well anyway.  Too small.  I went to a safe website, and looked for possible options and hit upon a possible solution, a ‘gun safe’, one that would be used to protect one’s firearms as well as other valuables.  The only problem (besides price) would be the one I would probably want weighs in excess of 800 lbs (~363 kgs).  The likelihood of something of that nature would be it would end up in the basement, since it would probably crash through the floor of whatever room we wanted to put it in.

So that scenario isn’t a likely solution.  Just another in a long line of musings I’ve had over the years.  Actually, the other ‘what if’ thought I’ve had is, who’s going to inherit my toy collection after I’m gone?  Yeesh.  Gotta quit being morbid.



For many years, I was going through a lot of cellphones.  A lot of it had to do with cellphones coming out with new doodads, new bells and whistles and wanting to be there to take advantage of them.  Only not necessarily the ‘new’ ones, the ones that people were reselling because they wanted the brand spankin’ new ones.

At present I have about 8 or 9 old cellphones here at the house.  Many of them are unusable because they’re just so old that connecting them to a carrier would be cost prohibitive, at least for me.  One of the less ancient ones is a Samsung Galaxy Note 5 that I purchased from somewhere.  I had another one, but I’m fairly certain that I sold it on a while ago, so obviously that one was no longer available to me.

As I have every year for the last couple, I asked my girl what she wanted for Christmas.  I remembered that she had been coveting an air fryer, and I had already been looking for one at retailers off and on for several months, but not really finding the right one for my preferences.  None of the ones I’d been looking at had the right features, or doodads, and I’d been remiss in just buying one at random.  Which is a good thing, since she informed me that she would very much like a new cellphone for her holiday present.

Oof.  That’s a bit of an outlay if I was to purchase something new or even used, but I thought back to the pile of old cellphones on my desk and got to thinking.  She uses StraightTalk, and if I could get the right SIM card, perhaps she’d have the right type of phone, with the right coverage as well as a stylus, which she’d been coveting.  So, I went shopping and investigating online to see if this was possible.  We’d tried something similar before, but for whatever reason, it didn’t work.  Swapping the SIM card from one of her phones to a Note 4 didn’t connect to the network, so we gave up on that enterprise.

I did happen to (finally) go to the Straight Talk website and used the chat portal to speak to one of the assistants. I informed them that I had a compatible GSM phone (unlocked) and needed a SIM card for a location that was not my own. I didn’t go into detail why, I just made sure they understood it was a former AT&T phone and I needed the appropriate card that would connect where my girl lives. Otherwise, they would have sent me a card that would have a phone number that’s more local to me. Even so, I should have remembered to look at the actual phone, because when I powered it up, I re-discovered that it was actually a SPRINT phone, not AT&T. Since it was unlocked, either I at one point had used it as my own phone, or had simply forgotten that it was a different carrier.

The SIM card arrived a few days after I ordered it. After futzing around with it a few times, it finally connected to the network and began running updates. It works just fine now and I need to be able to ship it to my girl so she can be using it for the length of time before the one month no-contract contract expires. Doesn’t do much good sitting here on my desk.

But it works! Go me.

Recycled Nostalgia

I have a hard time throwing out things.  Especially if they can be fixed.  Or at least if I think they can be fixed.  Consequently, I tend to have a lot of items in the house that are in the process of being fixed.  Or if someone I know has something they’re considering discarding, I’ve been known to ask if I can have it.

For example:  My department manager at work has a tendency to throw out things if they don’t work when he wants them to.  He’s been known to throw away computers and buy new ones, rather than have them fixed.  I know…I know.  WTF?  Fortunately, he doesn’t do his banking online or anything of that nature, but if someone was to mine his various hard drives, there would be a good amount of info in the browsing history, if nothing else.  But try as I might to impress upon him the need to be more careful, he does what he pleases in that regard.

Last week he informed me that he was trying to use his nostalgic stereo console that he’d purchased a couple of years ago, but the turntable wasn’t moving at the right speed.  So instead of having it fixed, he went to the local Kohls and purchased a new one.  Which meant, what to do with the old one?  His solution was predictable, he was going to pitch it.  Throw the whole thing away because one component wasn’t working (the CD player/recorder, radio and cassette player worked just fine btw).  I asked if he’d be willing to give it to me instead.  He was more than happy to do so.

So on Sunday, he presented me with his old stereo.  I brought it home, looked up the manual online and managed to repair it in about an hour.  So now I have a really neat looking stereo and it didn’t cost me a thing!  I’m pretty stoked.


Toy Whore/Hoard


Credit Fetlife User @Moolikan

I actually think I have too many BDSM toys.  And there’s two sad things to add to that statement.  Not only do I probably have too many, I want more.  I continually scour places that advertise items that people no longer want, or think about what I could do with items that could be converted into play things.  Like old chain for example.  Since I’m unable to play with my girl due to distance, I spend time keeping my interest piqued by watching old BDSM videos (from Insex and other venues), looking at pictures and thinking about old play scenes of my own from the past.  I marvel and covet what I see, and consider how I could be getting items from scrap yards, antique stores and junkyards to convert into toys, for the eventuality of having someone to play with.  I even have haunted Etsy and eBay over the past few days to browse for older chain, instead of going the route of purchasing new chain and rusting it.  It would actually probably be cheaper to do it that way, but I don’t think you get the same patina from rusting the stuff that you find in hardware stores these days..a lot of it comes from China, and the metallurgical make-up is completely different from domestic (US) steel from the past.

I’ve often also thought about divesting myself of some of the toys that I have had for a long time.  Many years ago, when I was going through a medical restraint phase, I purchased FOUR identical sets of Human Restraints.  The types that are used in hospitals, or mental health facilities.  These are the extremely sturdy leather restraints with locks.  I still have them, they’re brand new and haven’t even been removed from the boxes they were shipped in.  My justification was, they price was way too good to pass up.  Coupled with the fact that you normally can’t get these without either a prescription (unlikely!) or be ordering them from official letterhead from an institution (impossible!).  Yes there are places that make similar ones, or knockoff varieties, but getting the real thing instead?  That’s a coup.  But still, I have four sets of something that I’ve never used, and essentially, that’s THREE sets I probably will never use. prangers2 The same goes for my prangers.  I have two of them (because a seller on Fetlife was offering the two as a set, not individually) but really, probably only need one at any time.   Don’t get me started on my flogger collection.  I really went overboard on that one.  Someone on Fetlife was selling their collection due to having the need for money, and naturally I couldn’t pass up the opportunity.  So I blew my toy budget for the year on making myself the proud owner of that, and now they sit mostly in my clothes closet, or hung up in my armoire, waiting to be used.  I’ve already had one horsehair flogger disintegrate due to lack of use (that majorly sucked!) and I have to be certain that other toys don’t go the same route, because of lack of playtime.  Further, my spanking horse is in the basement, getting more and more dusty with every passing month.  The last time I had a repairman in the house, he saw the horse and asked me if it was a piece of exercise equipment.  Rather than tell him exactly what it’s use was, I just nodded and didn’t say any more.

I suppose it’s just fitting that Amazon has now gotten into the business as well.  While I was doing research looking for pictures, I stumbled upon their toy listings.  Oy.



Photo credit: Moolikan on

While this isn’t exactly a representation of my dream dungeon, it comes pretty close in the terms of being drool-worthy.  The person that amassed this collection is in the process of selling most of it and moving elsewhere in the United States.  When he first posted his pictures on Fetlife, I was (like just about everyone else that commented) floored by the sheer amount of stuff in his playspace.  Just tallying up in my head the costs of the restraints, not to mention some of the stuff that looks custom-made would put the price tag easily in the $8,000-10,000 range.  And now he’s selling it??  Yeah, I thought more than once about putting in an offer, but unfortunately he’s looking for people who are within driving distance of him, and he’s about 1000 miles away from me.

Of course something like this has got me thinking about what I already possess and what I’ve been amassing in my own toy collection over the last year and the previous 30 some odd.  The fact that what I do have, I don’t play with much (and is a considerable source of angst from the wife about how much it all has cost) and basically sits around gathering dust.  I’ve already lost a couple of toys to wear and tear, and age, one of my coveted horsehair floggers essentially disintegrated hanging in my closet.  Too, one day on eBay I happened upon a seller that was parting with 4 identical brand new Humane Restraint sets, none of which had even been removed from their packing cellophane.  Brand Spanking New!  These are the types of restraints one might find in hospitals, mental facilities, the ones that in order to buy, you must have official letterhead, they’re not meant to be sold to the general public.  Of course, the person was asking $400 per set..but damn.  Don’t even ask…I bought them.  But I haven’t used them.  I opened one set, but the other 3 are sitting in the back of my closet, in the same boxes they arrived in.  What am I going to do with 4 sets of restraints, when I only have one submissive?  Damned if I know either, but I have them.

On and on it goes.  Floggers, restraints of metal and leather, chains and I’ve been considering learning how to weld so I can BUILD things.  But the wife isn’t going to be too pleased if I make a steel cage down in the basement, and then have nowhere to put it.  So I put off that sort of plan for a time down the road.  Still, I covet what I can’t have (at the present time).

I’m like a person at a smorgasboard, with a full plate and they just brought out dessert.

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Photo Credit: Moolikan on