After my rather upbeat tome about upgrading my playspace, I received some rather sobering news. My new playmate has had some recurring issues with close family members afflicted with life-threatening illnesses and has made the decision that she (at least for the foreseeable future) will not be available for further play. So, bang goes that opportunity.
Too, my slave has discovered that it may very well be until the end of 2020 before she can make it this far for a visit, though I have to admit she has been making leaps and bounds into the process of finding a way up here. It’s not simple when you have limited funds, oodles of bills and such and you’re in a depressed area to begin with. Consequently, it seems a waste of time and resources to update or upgrade a playspace that’s going to be covered in dust (again) by the time anyone is available to be using it. Quite honestly, I find that to be incredibly sad. Though not really unexpected, given how often I’m ever able to express my kink in the physical sense.
There are times when I’m tempted to chuck the whole thing and just ‘retire’ like the wife did several years ago. She increasingly became despondent about finding someone with whom she could express her kink, play for lack of a better term and just said ‘enough’. Her toy collection was folded into mine, although every time I drag out the toy bags she laments about this toy or that being the ones that she brought into our house/relationship and I always say that she can have them back whenever she says the word, but she never does.
Within the last several days my slave received a message on Fetlife from someone in my area, who thought it a good idea to interject himself into our relationship, merely because he was having an impossible time finding someone to interact with on a kink level. Basically he was saying “hi, you don’t know me, but I think I know you from somewhere. IF you and Leathers were interested in using me as a practice toy for your play in the future, I’d greatly appreciate it, since it’s been 30 years since I’ve been in the scene, and I haven’t found anyone to play with.” She brought it to my attention and I had to write him, telling him that while I understand it can be a
bitch problem with finding someone compatible, oftentimes it’s better not to put yourself (uninvited) in someone else’s relationship merely because you’re feeling desperate. As of this writing he’s not deigned to reply. Not sure he ever will.
So, for the time being the playspace will be relegated to darkness and dust. Again. At least I was able to get some padding for the floor in case there’s a need for it to be used. And the heater works again. I suppose it’s probably for the best I didn’t do too much work in that area, as more than likely there are going to be furnace installers in the basement in the coming months, switching out and probably upgrading our furnace, and who needs questions about all the equipment there?