Honestly, I hadn’t thought much about this until this morning, when my pet informed me that she’d had a conversation with a friend at a munch, and this was the gist of it. When the friend asked about her relationship with me, in that we’re not in the same household, it’s long-distance, and for at least four years we were apart, his conclusion was; that what we have isn’t (in his opinion) a relationship.
Furthermore, I don’t understand what his disconnect is on the issue, other than the fact that we’re not in the same house. Two people that love one another, are trying to build something between them, and the fact that they’re not necessarily being physically intimate (to whatever degree) appears to be his undoing as far as logic goes. To be clear, initially, when my pet informed me of his problem my mental response was akin to telling him to go piss up a rope. He’s not the arbiter of our happiness now, nor will he ever be in the future.
After having thought about it in the ensuing day or so, it made me consider the issue from a different perspective. Perhaps his issue is with the concept of distance, in that two people that are separated by it can’t have a typical, normal relationship that’s been tested in time over the centuries. Though in my own mind, that would preclude people that were in conflicts like World War II, when soldiers in some cases were separated from their loved ones for many years, and yet when reunited, were able to continue with their relationship as if no time at all had passed. Granted some got divorced because they had either grown apart, or the horrors of war had made them strange bedfellows, PTSD can be a nasty issue even in today’s conflicts. But, I digress.
From a further conversation with my pet, she informed me the friend in question’s issue is more of his particular interpretation of BDSM, in that there’s a greater instance of sex and/or intercourse at the conclusion of play, which doesn’t exist in my own. I’ve found over the years that many that have become introduced to the scene see it through the eyes (or screens) of pay sites, where the old adage rings true “sex sells“. This is true if you’re wanting to get clicks or $$ from people observing or participating on your website, but if you break down the acronym BDSM, there’s NOTHING in the letters to denote that the payoff is sex.
The bottom line, we have a relationship. And if her friend doesn’t like it, with all (or little) due respect; he can go fuck himself.