I don’t get much action or interest on my Fetlife account, I have had it for ten plus years (I think actually 12 or so, my membership number is around 13,000 and currently new memberships are numbered somewhere around 12 or 13 million fwiw) and my girl has had hers for approximately half that time. Even so, seeing as her profile is female based, she gets a fair amount of email. Certainly far more than I ever get. Not that I’m counting, it doesn’t matter what platform we’d be on, male accounts rarely get the attention female ones do, it’s just the way it’s always worked, and the way it will always be.
Even so, on her profile it says quite clearly (if one bothers to read it all the way through) if someone is Dominant and wishes to write to her, there’s a way to go about it. If you read it all the way through and follow the rules, you get past the ogre under the bridge. If you don’t, you get either ignored or reminded that there’s something you missed. If you continue to pester the slavegirl, the ogre gets mad and makes you aware of your mistake. That scenario occurred yesterday.
To be honest, yesterday I was already in a bad mood, so the interloper was in for it regardless. My girl received a message on her Fet account from a Dominant in Florida, asking to be added to her friends list. Innocent request, there had been an exchange previously between them on a picture she had posted. He liked and commented on it, she responded, apparently he felt there was some sort of connection so he asked to be added. Again, if he’d bothered to follow the pretty clear set of instructions, I wouldn’t even be writing about this, but since he didn’t here I am.
On her profile it says essentially (I’m paraphrasing here) ‘if you’re a Dominant and wish to write to me, write to my Master first. Let him know you’re interested in having a conversation, and let him decide if this is going to go forward.’ To me, it’s a sign of respect if someone wishes to interact with what is essentially my property (not in the legal sense, in our agreed upon sense, I’m not arguing human chattel issues, so don’t get me started) to let me know about it, I don’t want to be getting the information after the fact.
Mr. Florida didn’t bother to follow the directions, he messaged her directly. Then when he didn’t get a timely response (she’d already informed me of the message, I told her what her rejoiner should be, that he needed to re-read her profile and follow said directions) he wrote her again, apparently perturbed that she hadn’t accepted the request immediately and added insult to injury in suggesting that she didn’t need to be informing me that he messaged, or words to that effect. She copied the second message to me and at that point I knew it was time to kneecap Mr. Florida so he understood that he was stepping on toes.
I looked up his profile, and proceeded to read him the riot act in my first draft. Figuring that was going to get a negative response, I re-wrote it, toning things down a little, then after taking the time to re-read it, I started a third draft. I think overall I was firm but polite, detailing what I saw as being pretty disrespectful, quite daft on his part and informing him that if he wanted to write again, his energies would best be put toward getting on my good side, rather than continuing to ignore me and forward his interest towards her. After proofreading it one more time I hit send, figuring one of two things was going to happen. Either he was going to blow it off and block both myself and her on the site, or he was going to explain himself.
He chose Option 1. Which honestly was probably for the best, because unless he was going to be obscenely gracious and throw himself on the mercy of the court, he was already in the doghouse. And unlikely to get on my good side. I just don’t suffer fools gladly. Since he blocked me, I blocked him in return. I could have posted this on my own account, but I’d rather post it here. No sense in causing a row over there.
Anyway, that’s my end of it. I chose this method to blow off a little steam, and I feel better for it. I’m off to bed. G’nite kinky world.