#bdsmrelationships

And it begins!

My pet made it here yesterday afternoon around 4:30. We haven’t played yet, though I did have her wearing one of my shackle sets while we watched a movie last night. The important thing was getting her here and with a bit of luck and a good tailwind, she managed to navigate the highways and byways without too much angst.  As I understand it, the last 50 miles were the worst, something that I myself have experienced, since the final push requires a strong bladder.  Suffice it to say, you may be able to land a military plane on an Interstate, but if they don’t have sufficient rest stops, people are going to have to keep their legs crossed strongly.  Just saying!

Since she’d just finished a long drive, the second order of business was to get her fed.  Seeing as she’d been hankering for a particular recipe that I make on occasion (BBQ cups) I had laid on supplies to make a double batch, seeing as there was more than just the normal two of us (my wife and I).  My pet watched from the kitchen doorway for a few minutes (we have what can be best described as a ‘galley’ kitchen here in the old house) until I beckoned her in and got her busy browning the ground beef while I flattened out the store-bought biscuit dough, laying them in the muffin tins.  The recipe calls for a very basic, but quite ingenious barbeque sauce (ketchup, a bit of brown sugar, chili powder & vinegar) which doesn’t have to be cooked into the beef very long, but giving it a few minutes to warm up and meld with the beef can’t hurt.  Soon after I scooped the mixture into the dough cups, added a little shredded cheese, and slid the two tins into a piping hot oven for a 17 1/2 minute baking turn.  One could easily find them mouth-watering from the scent alone.  When it came time to serve, they were more than well-received.  As I mentioned, no play happened last night, we both were actually too tired to do anything in that regard.

The plan for today is to head to the basement and get the playspace cleaned up and squared away.  I have to dismantle my old weight bench, rearrange the things that have accumulated in the quasi-workshop, excise cobwebs (and their accompanying spiders), and run the Hoover down and around to clean up the floor.  We need to come up with a workable plan for padding that floor a bit (I purchased some interlocking mats a couple of years ago but never used them as I had no one visiting to make use of the space) and adding a place where we can do aftercare. My pet is bringing a used air mattress that will work, since it can be deflated when not in use so as not to take up space downstairs between visits.

I’m definitely looking forward to making the downstairs into a proper, useable play area, that we can both use and enjoy.  More to come, just wanted to make an update!  So much to do, so little time!

Finding new ways to bide time

Well, 2021 has turned out to be a bust when it comes to getting together, it seems.  With the pandemic, 2020 didn’t work out for a variety of reasons, but we expected this year was going to be different.  While I was able to get out and travel a bit (stayed in my home state), I wasn’t able to make the ‘big trip’ going to see my girl.  Which to be clear is a major downer, and there are more reasons than just COVID as to why this was the case.

Even so, time doesn’t stand still, and progress isn’t curtailed with an interpersonal relationship, whether it’s vanilla or kinky.

Even so, we’re moving forward to 2022.  The new plan is for her to come here in the Spring.  In the meantime, I’ve set up a video feed here so that she can have an anchor of sorts here at the house, be able to see me (which is important) and we can interact in a new way, to augment the ones that we’ve been making use of for the last three and a half years.  So far, it seems to be working out OK.  In the morning before I go to work, we can interact a bit while I get dressed and in the evening she has limited access to the house network, as much as is needed for her to be able to interact and participate.  As before, so far it seems to be working out.

Even so, the distance and the time factor hasn’t been easy on either of us.  I often equate it to a soldier in olden times going off to war (think Crusades or some conflict where communication wasn’t exactly modern) being separated by years with the folks back home and only seeing one another every few years.  A lot of things are missed in that time.

One hopes too, that come 2022 the pandemic will be a rather nasty memory in the history of the world.  And not current events.

More to come.

A little reminder

100_0418I don’t get much action or interest on my Fetlife account, I have had it for ten plus years (I think actually 12 or so, my membership number is around 13,000 and currently new memberships are numbered somewhere around 12 or 13 million fwiw) and my girl has had hers for approximately half that time.  Even so, seeing as her profile is female based, she gets a fair amount of email.  Certainly far more than I ever get.  Not that I’m counting, it doesn’t matter what platform we’d be on, male accounts rarely get the attention female ones do, it’s just the way it’s always worked, and the way it will always be.

Even so, on her profile it says quite clearly (if one bothers to read it all the way through) if someone is Dominant and wishes to write to her, there’s a way to go about it.  If you read it all the way through and follow the rules, you get past the ogre under the bridge.  If you don’t, you get either ignored or reminded that there’s something you missed.  If you continue to pester the slavegirl, the ogre gets mad and makes you aware of your mistake.  That scenario occurred yesterday.

To be honest, yesterday I was already in a bad mood, so the interloper was in for it regardless.  My girl received a message on her Fet account from a Dominant in Florida, asking to be added to her friends list.  Innocent request, there had been an exchange previously between them on a picture she had posted.  He liked and commented on it, she responded, apparently he felt there was some sort of connection so he asked to be added.  Again, if he’d bothered to follow the pretty clear set of instructions, I wouldn’t even be writing about this, but since he didn’t here I am.

On her profile it says essentially (I’m paraphrasing here) ‘if you’re a Dominant and wish to write to me, write to my Master first.  Let him know you’re interested in having a conversation, and let him decide if this is going to go forward.’  To me, it’s a sign of respect if someone wishes to interact with what is essentially my property (not in the legal sense, in our agreed upon sense, I’m not arguing human chattel issues, so don’t get me started) to let me know about it, I don’t want to be getting the information after the fact.

Mr. Florida didn’t bother to follow the directions, he messaged her directly.  Then when he didn’t get a timely response (she’d already informed me of the message, I told her what her rejoiner should be, that he needed to re-read her profile and follow said directions) he wrote her again, apparently perturbed that she hadn’t accepted the request immediately and added insult to injury in suggesting that she didn’t need to be informing me that he messaged, or words to that effect.  She copied the second message to me and at that point I knew it was time to kneecap Mr. Florida so he understood that he was stepping on toes.

I looked up his profile, and proceeded to read him the riot act in my first draft.  Figuring that was going to get a negative response, I re-wrote it, toning things down a little, then after taking the time to re-read it, I started a third draft.  I think overall I was firm but polite, detailing what I saw as being pretty disrespectful, quite daft on his part and informing him that if he wanted to write again, his energies would best be put toward getting on my good side, rather than continuing to ignore me and forward his interest towards her.  After proofreading it one more time I hit send, figuring one of two things was going to happen.  Either he was going to blow it off and block both myself and her on the site, or he was going to explain himself.

He chose Option 1.  Which honestly was probably for the best, because unless he was going to be obscenely gracious and throw himself on the mercy of the court, he was already in the doghouse.  And unlikely to get on my good side.  I just don’t suffer fools gladly.  Since he blocked me, I blocked him in return.  I could have posted this on my own account, but I’d rather post it here.  No sense in causing a row over there.

Anyway, that’s my end of it.  I chose this method to blow off a little steam, and I feel better for it.  I’m off to bed.  G’nite kinky world.

BDSM and COVID

It’s odd in a way to look at Fetlife, Instagram, Facebook and other social media outlets and see people carrying on with their BDSM lifestyle as if COVID didn’t exist at all.  Certainly there are still munches happening, though some are happening virtually, but I still read about people traveling to visit one another, getting together to play, interact and so on.  Even though they’re able to, I’m not; due to the situation I’m presently in.  My primary partner is in the danger zone, so I can’t in all good conscience go traipsing off to meet with my submissive, no matter what the location, and have a session.  I can’t even have her come here, due to the possibility of introducing a remnant of COVID into our home.

Of course it’s just bad luck that we haven’t been able to see one another since June of 2018.  Due to things as diverse as money, available dates to visit, or a place to go that’s not necessarily a motel (not that that’s impossible we’ve done it before) just meant that meetings were postponed, cancelled or just pushed back month after month, year after year and then the pandemic hit and we were completely sidelined.  Now, with the vaccine having been administered to the tune of 59 million doses (against a population of 332 million, that’s still only 6.03%) one would hope that things are going to be permitted to move along by summer, but honestly that’s wishful thinking.  Even with an increase in dosages, with the virus variants we’re seeing, it could very well be 2022 before safe travel and visiting in my circumstance will be advisable.

It’s the way things are, and honestly it sucks.  But I have to bide my time, and hope for the best.  As I have been doing for the past 966 days.  Wow, I hadn’t looked in a while.  That’s incredible.  And very sobering.

Anyway, it’s just a thought.  I’ll have more in the coming days, weeks and months.  I’m starting to feel the need to write again.  So stay tuned.  Stay safe everyone.  We’ll do the same here.

Updated Inventory

Since I’ve shelved any possibility of being able to play this year, I really don’t have much to report on this blog.  Quite honestly, this wasn’t how I wanted my kinky life to progress.

In the interim, I’ve been contemplating ways to set my toys aside in a safe manner, so they can be picked up again and be in good repair when interaction and play resumes.  I’m hoping that will be in 2021, but without any good news on the efficacy of the vaccines that have been reported, at present that’s little more than a pipe dream.

I posted before about getting storage bins at a place like Big Lots!, and squirreling away things that need better protection like my leather floggers, and industrial/hospital restraints.  The restraints for the most part are a bit more hardy than the floggers, singletails and such.  They’re designed for rough and tumble use, but the hides that the floggers and whips are made from, are a bit more delicate and need to be better stored than just tossed into a box, or hung from a tie rack in the back of my closet.

While I’m mulling and planning for their long-term storage, I’ve been considering making a more definitive inventory of my toys.  Over the past 25 years I’ve been collecting, and putting aside things in a spare bedroom (two, actually) and have in many ways lost track of just what I do happen to have.  When I first started this blog, I did a half-assed photo inventory of my collection, and even posted some of the pictures here.  I definitely think it’s time for an update in that regard.  If for no other reason than to have a better idea of all the different things I have.  I’m certain there are many redundancies, and probably a need for divesting myself of the excess.  My girl has told me that she wants me to keep all of the hospital restraints that I have, even though she might be unaware of just how many of them I do happen to have in my possession.  Not quite enough to outfit your average psych ward, but I could most definitely secure a fair few in good stead.  Food for thought, right?

Many of the items are probably too big or too small for my slave.  Not having had her here to measure against, I bought many things that were a good price, without having a care about size.  Certainly it will be difficult to part with some of the pieces, but if they’re not the right size, then they’re not doing us much good.  There’s only so much space for things, and I’d rather be making use of the toys, rather than just having four or five versions in varying sizes, thinking that in the future there might be need for a size bigger or smaller than she.  I know she has a pet of her own, but most of the things I’ve purchased are with a female form in mind, not a male.  And naturally there are differences when it comes to delicacy versus masculinity.  Too, we have differing tastes in certain things.  So that’s a consideration as well.

I thought I’d put in a small sample of what I made pictures of before.  These were taken on a bedspread, in just the natural light of our spare bedroom, and an overhead light as well.  In the intervening years I actually purchased one of those portable light boxes a few years ago, when I was considering perhaps selling some of my things on eBay.  I sold a couple of phones on Swappa.com and it worked pretty well for that.  Obviously larger items like spreader bars aren’t going to fit in a small box, so I’ll have to consider what I might do for them.  Maybe a lighting cube or just make do with the natural lighting once more.  Since I’m not in the market for selling anything right now that’s less of an issue.

I’d also considered buying an armoire, but unfortunately places like Wayfair, while having some good items, they’re mostly manufactured wood, and I don’t really like the construction of them.  If one is going to have a piece of furniture like that, it should be made of a decent hardwood like mahogany.  But I don’t have a spare $3000 to spend on a mahogany armoire.

Anyway, that’s where I’m at.  As things progress, I’ll probably be posting more here.  Or not.  We’ll see.