#bdsmadults

Presentable and usable

All in all, I’d say the basement cleaned up pretty nicely.  Certainly from where I started, an area that was heavily festooned with cobwebs had an old more often unused than used weight bench in the corner, workbench in another, and junk here and there (we mostly use the basement as many do for storage) and the basement had recently had various workmen tramping through it installing a new heating/cooling system for the house.

Spent a few hours with my pet, dismantling the weight bench, storing it away, getting out the old Hoover from upstairs (we generally vacuum anymore with a Dyson® stick vac and we’ve recently acquired a Roborock® robot vacuum [after having killed off several Neetos® as well as a couple of Roombas®]) and using it judiciously on the aforementioned cobwebs and spiders creating them.  We didn’t manage to fill a whole bag in the Hoover, but I think we came pretty close, what with all the old mashed concrete, dust, and accumulated dirt that has been gathering over the past 20-30 years.

Once that was done, we went to the recently opened home improvement store and purchased some indoor/outdoor carpeting; figured out the best place for it to go, and laid it down, inflating the air mattress my pet brought along from her apartment which is being utilized for aftercare.  With my previous submissives, aftercare usually occurred upstairs, but now, it seems better to do it right after the scene.  Makes more sense, so that my girl isn’t having to navigate the winding way in the basement, as well as the stairs up to the main part of the house.

Finally, I purchased interlocking matting several years ago, but since no one was visiting to play, it stayed in its box until now.  Putting it down was pretty effortless, actually, the most discussion was as to where it was going; specifically how and what it would cushion.  Obviously, the spanking bench (as in the picture) was a no-brainer, but what else might need to be softened while it was being used?  Certainly, someone kneeling on it would be useful, though it’s only about an inch or so thick, so it only gives so much when putting one’s weight upon it.

Once that was completed and situated, we stopped and assessed where we were at.  Certainly in the coming months and years there will be more implements for tying and restraining (upcoming plans include the addition of a massage table for wax [and other] play, as well as perhaps a collapsible St. Andrews’s Cross) as well as a storage box for things like the aftercare air mattress so the area isn’t just dedicated to BDSM play.  It’s a small basement so space at times is at a premium.  Though I can’t store my toys down there, since the overall humidity fluctuates too much for that level of storage.

But, it’s coming along!

And it begins!

My pet made it here yesterday afternoon around 4:30. We haven’t played yet, though I did have her wearing one of my shackle sets while we watched a movie last night. The important thing was getting her here and with a bit of luck and a good tailwind, she managed to navigate the highways and byways without too much angst.  As I understand it, the last 50 miles were the worst, something that I myself have experienced, since the final push requires a strong bladder.  Suffice it to say, you may be able to land a military plane on an Interstate, but if they don’t have sufficient rest stops, people are going to have to keep their legs crossed strongly.  Just saying!

Since she’d just finished a long drive, the second order of business was to get her fed.  Seeing as she’d been hankering for a particular recipe that I make on occasion (BBQ cups) I had laid on supplies to make a double batch, seeing as there was more than just the normal two of us (my wife and I).  My pet watched from the kitchen doorway for a few minutes (we have what can be best described as a ‘galley’ kitchen here in the old house) until I beckoned her in and got her busy browning the ground beef while I flattened out the store-bought biscuit dough, laying them in the muffin tins.  The recipe calls for a very basic, but quite ingenious barbeque sauce (ketchup, a bit of brown sugar, chili powder & vinegar) which doesn’t have to be cooked into the beef very long, but giving it a few minutes to warm up and meld with the beef can’t hurt.  Soon after I scooped the mixture into the dough cups, added a little shredded cheese, and slid the two tins into a piping hot oven for a 17 1/2 minute baking turn.  One could easily find them mouth-watering from the scent alone.  When it came time to serve, they were more than well-received.  As I mentioned, no play happened last night, we both were actually too tired to do anything in that regard.

The plan for today is to head to the basement and get the playspace cleaned up and squared away.  I have to dismantle my old weight bench, rearrange the things that have accumulated in the quasi-workshop, excise cobwebs (and their accompanying spiders), and run the Hoover down and around to clean up the floor.  We need to come up with a workable plan for padding that floor a bit (I purchased some interlocking mats a couple of years ago but never used them as I had no one visiting to make use of the space) and adding a place where we can do aftercare. My pet is bringing a used air mattress that will work, since it can be deflated when not in use so as not to take up space downstairs between visits.

I’m definitely looking forward to making the downstairs into a proper, useable play area, that we can both use and enjoy.  More to come, just wanted to make an update!  So much to do, so little time!

Updated Inventory

Since I’ve shelved any possibility of being able to play this year, I really don’t have much to report on this blog.  Quite honestly, this wasn’t how I wanted my kinky life to progress.

In the interim, I’ve been contemplating ways to set my toys aside in a safe manner, so they can be picked up again and be in good repair when interaction and play resumes.  I’m hoping that will be in 2021, but without any good news on the efficacy of the vaccines that have been reported, at present that’s little more than a pipe dream.

I posted before about getting storage bins at a place like Big Lots!, and squirreling away things that need better protection like my leather floggers, and industrial/hospital restraints.  The restraints for the most part are a bit more hardy than the floggers, singletails and such.  They’re designed for rough and tumble use, but the hides that the floggers and whips are made from, are a bit more delicate and need to be better stored than just tossed into a box, or hung from a tie rack in the back of my closet.

While I’m mulling and planning for their long-term storage, I’ve been considering making a more definitive inventory of my toys.  Over the past 25 years I’ve been collecting, and putting aside things in a spare bedroom (two, actually) and have in many ways lost track of just what I do happen to have.  When I first started this blog, I did a half-assed photo inventory of my collection, and even posted some of the pictures here.  I definitely think it’s time for an update in that regard.  If for no other reason than to have a better idea of all the different things I have.  I’m certain there are many redundancies, and probably a need for divesting myself of the excess.  My girl has told me that she wants me to keep all of the hospital restraints that I have, even though she might be unaware of just how many of them I do happen to have in my possession.  Not quite enough to outfit your average psych ward, but I could most definitely secure a fair few in good stead.  Food for thought, right?

Many of the items are probably too big or too small for my slave.  Not having had her here to measure against, I bought many things that were a good price, without having a care about size.  Certainly it will be difficult to part with some of the pieces, but if they’re not the right size, then they’re not doing us much good.  There’s only so much space for things, and I’d rather be making use of the toys, rather than just having four or five versions in varying sizes, thinking that in the future there might be need for a size bigger or smaller than she.  I know she has a pet of her own, but most of the things I’ve purchased are with a female form in mind, not a male.  And naturally there are differences when it comes to delicacy versus masculinity.  Too, we have differing tastes in certain things.  So that’s a consideration as well.

I thought I’d put in a small sample of what I made pictures of before.  These were taken on a bedspread, in just the natural light of our spare bedroom, and an overhead light as well.  In the intervening years I actually purchased one of those portable light boxes a few years ago, when I was considering perhaps selling some of my things on eBay.  I sold a couple of phones on Swappa.com and it worked pretty well for that.  Obviously larger items like spreader bars aren’t going to fit in a small box, so I’ll have to consider what I might do for them.  Maybe a lighting cube or just make do with the natural lighting once more.  Since I’m not in the market for selling anything right now that’s less of an issue.

I’d also considered buying an armoire, but unfortunately places like Wayfair, while having some good items, they’re mostly manufactured wood, and I don’t really like the construction of them.  If one is going to have a piece of furniture like that, it should be made of a decent hardwood like mahogany.  But I don’t have a spare $3000 to spend on a mahogany armoire.

Anyway, that’s where I’m at.  As things progress, I’ll probably be posting more here.  Or not.  We’ll see.

Gripes my bottom, or MYOFB

Earlier this week, something happened over on Fetlife that still has me mentally fuming a bit. My girl had posted a picture on her profile of some rope bondage she’d done on herself several months ago, and someone local to her had commented on it. Nothing wrong with that, people comment on pictures they find, and this person was complementary on it. What ensued next was the problem, however. This person privately messaged her to indicate that he might be interested in assisting her with some rope tie practice, and she mentioned (as she’s required to) that any sort of contact has to include me, or at the very least make me aware of it, because after all, we have a relationship, she’s my de facto (agreed upon) ‘property’ etc. consequently, she’s not going to keep this information from me.

Now this person decides to go to my profile on the site and check me out. It’s a public profile, has a synopsis of sorts about me, my viewpoints on certain things, sort of an introduction to anyone that wishes to read it. For the most part, people don’t bother to read male profiles, they read the female ones (and ignore them when emailing them, propositioning them, etc). The same thing happens on personal sites the world over. Instagram, Facebook, CollarMe, OkCupid, even ChristianMingle I expect. What happened next is the thing that rubbed me the wrong way.

He messages her back to say that he’s no longer interested in ANY contact that might involve me, because in his words, “she can do better” than me, and he doesn’t like what he reads on my profile. The latter part I could care less about. He doesn’t know me from Adam, what’s written on my profile isn’t a listing or even a detailed synopsis of me, my life, even my outlook on many aspects of the BDSM lifestyle. If anything, part of it is tongue in cheek, the rest of it is a light overview of my girl’s and my journey over the last year or so. Certainly, nothing that someone could make an accurate understanding of who and what someone is about. Yet, here we are. At the end of his message, he has the utmost nerve to suggest they can still ‘be friends’ and ‘meet up’ at some point in time like that’s the most likely thing that will transpire.

My girl had messaged me at lunch to ask my opinion about the conversation she was having with this joker guy. Her main concern was not upsetting him, setting off some sort of negative impact in her local community, with this fellow being the ‘offended party’. At this point, the only ones offended are me, and my girl. He’s not even in the equation. I logged into her account, read the back and forth, and gave her a basic overview of how I wanted her to reply. Something non-threatening, but to the point of, if he’s uninterested in having me in the conversation as being aware of what’s happening between him and her, then I’m very uninterested in him having any contact with her whatsoever. Bottom line: my toy, my rules. Moreover, there’s a protocol that we have in place that’s laid out very distinctly in her profile, which says basically if you want to converse with her beyond a ‘hello’, then you get in contact with me. If one can’t follow a simple courtesy, then we’re not really interested in associating with them. We’re all supposed to be adults here. Might as well act like it as much as we can.

Appropos of nothing, he never responded to her message, so there’s no way of knowing what he’s going to say or do going forward. If it’s something nefarious, then I can play hardball as well. Honestly, this is not what I wanted to be doing coming up to the Christmas holiday. But sometimes it’s something that needs to be dealt with.