So, we’re back to square one, so to speak. We tried a collar that was removable, for purposes of convenience, beauty and affordability (though the last one was a bit of a stretch, considering what I got was a custom job) and due to an unfortunate occurrence, we’re back to where we were several months ago. Now, my knee-jerk reaction would be get something a bit more secure, with a lock, or even something that has an ability similar to a lock requiring a screwdriver to remove. Actually that was my initial desire, but my pet doesn’t like something that close to the throat, so I have to come up with a different solution.
I’ve been looking in all the familiar places (Etsy, eBay, Fetlife, Tumblr) but I haven’t been satisfied with what I’m looking at. I need something that’s durable, yet lightweight, not necessarily something that’s going to be on first glance understood to be what it is (with the above collar, obviously people think it’s a necklace, and it is, but it also isn’t). Circlet collars like ROS or Eternity are pretty bold statements, since they’re not easily removable, so your average vanilla is going to look at them and think to themselves that it’s hardcore, and in my girl’s line of work, that might be more detrimental than positive. (She’s told me that there’s some very outlandish things worn by co-workers, but I’m still trying to err on the side of caution).
Today I went back to Etsy, looking for something similar and after about an hour, came away less assured that this is going to be an easy fix. There are more places to look. I remember the angst I was feeling the last time. It’s back.
As you’re no doubt aware, my pet and I have undergone a change in our dynamic. Having done that, there’s a need for new material to cement things in a more corporeal way. A collar. When I’ve had other pets, slaves, submissives, at some point each one had a collar to wear either day-to-day, when they visited, or even in on a semi-permanent basis. My pet and I have discussed this at length, but at the end of all, it’s my decision on what she’s going to wear day to day, or when we meet to play.
That being said, it’s not always so easy to find just the right one. There are so many different choices out there, not to mention you have to take into consideration what might be considered unobtrusive, or gaudy, or inappropriate for one’s work responsibilities. I know many people that didn’t give that the proper amount of thought, and it had disastrous consequences. I’d like to make the right choice the first time so that there’s no need to make a second choice because the first one caused problems.
Too, my pet has never been collared before. When the pendulum was swinging the other way, she wanted me to have a collar that I could wear every day. I found that to have a myriad of problems, one that I don’t normally wear jewelry (even a wedding ring and I’ve been married almost 25 years!) and when I’m working, something that would be too obvious would be (at least initially I think) would be too much of a topic of conversation. Perhaps it was me being self-conscious, I’ve spoken to others that have worn or been adorned with eternity collars and ROS’s and most of them say that if there’s attention drawn to you, it’s mostly because you’re the one doing something that brings people’s attention there, not the other way around.
We’ve talked about it at some length, and it would be better to have something that for now would be easily removable if necessary, and wouldn’t get in the way of her work. With the last submissive I had, we’d agreed instead of a collar she would wear a bracelet that was mostly unremovable. It had an Allen screw embedded in the steel and she could wear it to work, have it on at home, out and everywhere else that she went with me, or went to by herself or with others. It worked for the most part, the only thing she and I discovered was that it endured a lot of abuse, as it was continually hitting the counter at the pharmacy where she worked. Even so, the quality of the steel held up (after all it’s metal) although some of the satin patina was starting to wear a little bit from all the abuse it was taking. But our relationship ended before it either became more of a problem or some other arrangement could have been made or contemplated.
It’s been a couple of months and believe me, I’ve looked at hundreds of collars. All different styles, different materials, but I want something that’s going to be sturdy and won’t be required to be replaced over time. A leather collar won’t do it for day to day, since it will wear over time, seeing as it’s going to be in contact with skin and oils and weather and so on. Probably some form of a metal collar, but it has to be unobtrusive to a certain degree, as well as durable. Early on in our relationship, I purchased for her a necklace she had been coveting, with a Celtic lion trinity pendant. The chain that it had come with was a bit flimsy, so I purchased a better one from another vendor and married the two. She still loves it, but it’s not a day to day thing, and it’s not something I wish to repurpose. I’m not Irish, even though there’s Irish in her heritage, it’s not ‘out there for all to see‘, so to me, there would be some confusion as to what it all meant, and it’s not really the message I want to be putting out there with it. Too, the chain might break, it’d get lost and then there’d be more angst to deal with. So that’s not the option I wish to utilize.
Fortunately, there’s still time. Our next meeting isn’t scheduled for a few months from now and I expect to have figured it out by then. So she’ll have a collar.