Relationships

How do you define ‘relationship’?

Honestly, I hadn’t thought much about this until this morning, when my pet informed me that she’d had a conversation with a friend at a munch, and this was the gist of it.  When the friend asked about her relationship with me, in that we’re not in the same household, it’s long-distance, and for at least four years we were apart, his conclusion was; that what we have isn’t (in his opinion) a relationship.

Furthermore, I don’t understand what his disconnect is on the issue, other than the fact that we’re not in the same house.  Two people that love one another, are trying to build something between them, and the fact that they’re not necessarily being physically intimate (to whatever degree) appears to be his undoing as far as logic goes.  To be clear, initially, when my pet informed me of his problem my mental response was akin to telling him to go piss up a rope.  He’s not the arbiter of our happiness now, nor will he ever be in the future.

After having thought about it in the ensuing day or so, it made me consider the issue from a different perspective.  Perhaps his issue is with the concept of distance, in that two people that are separated by it can’t have a typical, normal relationship that’s been tested in time over the centuries.  Though in my own mind, that would preclude people that were in conflicts like World War II, when soldiers in some cases were separated from their loved ones for many years, and yet when reunited, were able to continue with their relationship as if no time at all had passed.  Granted some got divorced because they had either grown apart, or the horrors of war had made them strange bedfellows, PTSD can be a nasty issue even in today’s conflicts.  But, I digress.

From a further conversation with my pet, she informed me the friend in question’s issue is more of his particular interpretation of BDSM, in that there’s a greater instance of sex and/or intercourse at the conclusion of play, which doesn’t exist in my own.  I’ve found over the years that many that have become introduced to the scene see it through the eyes (or screens) of pay sites, where the old adage rings true “sex sells“.  This is true if you’re wanting to get clicks or $$ from people observing or participating on your website, but if you break down the acronym BDSM, there’s NOTHING in the letters to denote that the payoff is sex.

The bottom line, we have a relationship.  And if her friend doesn’t like it, with all (or little) due respect; he can go fuck himself.

Incentive

We all need a little incentive on occasion when we’re doing things for ourselves, even for others.

In that vein, recently my pet has started to exercise in earnest, getting a membership at her local YMCA, and keeping track of her progress using a homemade workout sheet.  With that in mind, she needed a way to print off the sheets so she’s able to keep track, so, between the two of us, we got her a used printer that I had recently been gifted by a co-worker.  I cleaned it up, found the proper drivers from the manufacturer’s website and bought new ink so it would work properly, and even managed to find the right cable in my cobble of old tech to make sure it would connect to her laptop.

One evening while we were talking on the phone after work, she suggested that we might set up a system whereby she could send me her completed workout sheets, and after looking them over, confirm that she indeed was doing what she had set out to do; (complete her self-imposed quotas) I (in turn) could reward her with a trinket or something that she has listed on her Amazon wishlist.  There are other places online (and off) where she has wishlists and desires for low-cost items that would please her, and remind her that she’s indeed doing good work and should continue in the same vein.  She’s doing it not for prizes, but for the ultimate goal of being in better health.  The trinkets are more to help her along.

To wit, so far I’ve gotten her a pendant for her, and she absolutely loved it.  I have some other things in mind, which I will be sending over the course of the next couple of weeks.  I certainly don’t want them to become ‘old hat’ or expected, so I have to be careful in what I choose to send, that there’s meaning to them.

And I don’t want them interfering with birthday, anniversary or other holiday type presents.

 

Far from it, pet

Oh, how often have I heard the words “I’m stupid“, or “I can’t do that!” from my pet.  For the longest time, it was almost as if we had to deal with a bugaboo in her brainpan where she was steadfastly convinced her brain was working against her in some way.  “It takes me the longest time to learn anything Master!” she’d say, which wasn’t necessarily true, but she’d insist that it was.  In many ways, she’d also say that I was the only one that could explain things, or speak “Pet’ese”, her own personal language where if I explained it, she’d get it.  Cull from that what you will, dear reader.

When she visited me last month, one of her desires was to have a printer for her laptop.  Coincidentally, I just happened to have a spare printer that had been gifted to me by a friend, who was getting rid of her computer.  Bing bang boom, as the old adage goes, two birds with one stone.

Long story short, I was able to get the printer set up, talk to her laptop and show her how the two worked.  I had a spare cable to facilitate the communication and she was set.  When she went home, she had a basic understanding of how to use it.  I figured over time together with the assistance of a little program called TeamViewer; we would be able to collaborate to use it for her benefit.

In the last couple of weeks, she’s been getting back into working out, and she wanted some incentive to do her weekly exercise regimen.  That’s fine, every person needs something to help when they’re doing something somewhat difficult, and I was happy to assist.  She has workout sheets that she uses to keep track of what machines she’s using, the weights she’s utilizing, and so on.  But before, she didn’t have a way to send the sheets to me, but the printer, with its All-In-One capability (It also scans and faxes), fixes that issue handily.  If you know how it works.

Enter TeamViewer.  A couple of years ago, when I got the laptop for her (an upgraded version of the one I’m using, so it offered familiarity for me if hers ever broke), I had it shipped to me first before being sent on to her so I could look it over, add any programs that might be usable and so on.  One of them was TeamViewer, a free program where people can conference or take ‘control’ of another’s computer for the purpose of diagnosis or teaching.

One evening after she had gotten off work, and I had some free time, we fired up our respective programs and I taught her how to use the program and the printer to scan her workout sheet, create a PDF with it, how to find it on her laptop once it was created, and then how to attach it to an email and send it out.  My intention at the time was to screenshot enough so that I could create a visual tutorial so she could do it on her own.  She was fairly convinced that she wouldn’t be able to do it without my assistance the first few times.  I figured the tutorial would take the place of that and she’d be fine after looking it over and following the step by steps.

Of course, as things occur, I managed to get side-tracked and didn’t make the tutorial.  I had mentioned I needed access to her computer again in the near future to make the tutorial, but our schedules never seemed to coalesce.  A couple of weeks went by and she had a couple of workout sheets to send me.  One day, rather than take the easy route and just take a picture of it with her phone, she decided to try to recreate the steps herself, and experiment to see if she could do it on her own.

And it worked!  She informed me later that day the workout sheets were in my inbox.  When I went there, I discovered that she’d done a great job.  Easy to read, it was in PDF form, ALL the boxes were ticked.  Couldn’t have done better myself.  I informed her of such, heaped (deserved!) praise on her and was very pleased she hadn’t let the possibility of failure get her down or dissuade her from trying.

See, pet?  You CAN do this!  VERY proud of you!  What are you going to conquer next?

Finding new ways to bide time

Well, 2021 has turned out to be a bust when it comes to getting together, it seems.  With the pandemic, 2020 didn’t work out for a variety of reasons, but we expected this year was going to be different.  While I was able to get out and travel a bit (stayed in my home state), I wasn’t able to make the ‘big trip’ going to see my girl.  Which to be clear is a major downer, and there are more reasons than just COVID as to why this was the case.

Even so, time doesn’t stand still, and progress isn’t curtailed with an interpersonal relationship, whether it’s vanilla or kinky.

Even so, we’re moving forward to 2022.  The new plan is for her to come here in the Spring.  In the meantime, I’ve set up a video feed here so that she can have an anchor of sorts here at the house, be able to see me (which is important) and we can interact in a new way, to augment the ones that we’ve been making use of for the last three and a half years.  So far, it seems to be working out OK.  In the morning before I go to work, we can interact a bit while I get dressed and in the evening she has limited access to the house network, as much as is needed for her to be able to interact and participate.  As before, so far it seems to be working out.

Even so, the distance and the time factor hasn’t been easy on either of us.  I often equate it to a soldier in olden times going off to war (think Crusades or some conflict where communication wasn’t exactly modern) being separated by years with the folks back home and only seeing one another every few years.  A lot of things are missed in that time.

One hopes too, that come 2022 the pandemic will be a rather nasty memory in the history of the world.  And not current events.

More to come.

It’s a great deal, but…

I was up this morning at the ungodly hour of six because my alarm clock malfunctioned (or I forgot to turn it off yesterday morning) and it went off at 5:45 am.  Upon rising to use the facilities, I was accosted by my cat (Rochester) who kindly informed me that there were issues downstairs that needed to be attended to.  He also wanted attention, and by attention I mean he wanted to be petted and to attempt to attack my hand as I was doing so.  Morning rituals, yanno.

Going downstairs meant I was going to probably stay up for awhile, as I never seem to be able to do just go down, do something and go back to bed.  Just not my routine anymore.  So of course I went to check his food (it was fine, he just ate a hole in what he had, and when he can see the bottom, he figures the bowl is empty) and get a cup of tea.  Before having the tea, I checked my blood sugar, and it was in the right range to allow me to have my morning libation.  Set the Keurig to do it’s work, and then came in the addition to turn on my computer.

Sybian

I have my Fetlife account set to send me messages (by email) when there are new posts in certain forums, and one of them is the ‘Kinky Items for Sale’ forum.  Along with different posts about certain items for sale was one that caught my eye.  SYBIAN for sale; well, that was worth a look.  The seller stated that he had a unit for sale that he no longer used because he recently went through a breakup.  Apparently he lends it to his next door neighbors now, and supposedly they’re uninterested in purchasing it from him so he’s offering it to whoever might be interested on Fet.  In his description he goes on to say that he’s offering the base unit along with a trove of attachments, basically he bought just about every attachment that was available from the company and now the whole thing is sitting around gathering dust.

His price is staggeringly reasonable, when you consider he’s including probably 10-12 attachments that alone are probably worth $1200-1500 in addition to the main unit, which if bought new would be about $1k [USD].  He didn’t say how old the unit was, but even so his price makes it a steal.  Normally I wouldn’t haggle (at one time I purchased 20 floggers at $2,000 sight unseen only through the knowledge of who had made most of them) but in this case I had just made a very large purchase the day before in another realm of my life.  So putting out another large chunk of money gave me pause for something that might not be used a whole lot in the immediate future.

Since this was something that wouldn’t be used on me at all, I went to Messenger and posted my morning message to my pet, along with the information and asking her opinion.  As it was a tool that would be used on her exclusively, I needed to know if she thought it was a good purchase to make at this time.  I didn’t expect to get an immediate reply, after all she has the day off and by all rights should be sleeping at 7 am.  Even so, she was awake and messaged me right back and as is her strong suit, wasn’t selfish in the least.  She pointed out that it was a good deal, but I needed to be aware of my limitations, and didn’t need to be spending a lot of money right now on something that would be stored for the foreseeable future. (Good girl!)

So, I’m passing on it.  But still on the lookout for the right deals as well as other things to add to my collection.  Considering I just added 300+ feet of rope to my holdings a few days ago, I haven’t yet finished my splurging.