July 2020

Biding our time

Ok, might as well get the gory details out of the way, right?  It’s been over two years since we’ve seen one another in the flesh.  Two damn years.  Twenty-five months now.  Seven hundred and fifty days.  No, I’m not going to do hours, minutes and seconds.  Not only would that be pointless, it would be a wee bit soul-crushing, as if the previous realities weren’t already bad enough.

What do we do in the meantime?  How do we keep the connection fresh, or at the very least less morbid?  Well, I have to tell you, it a’int easy.  Considering with the current situation it very well may be another year before either of us can travel to the other to visit.  Just the way things are now.  I suppose it would be even worse if she or I were in another country, but honestly, six hours distance might as well be six thousand miles at this point.

So again, what do we do with our time, separate though it may be? We keep in touch, just as we have been over the many days, weeks and months since that magical time in Pennsylvania in 2018. We make use of modern communication techniques, as well as old-fashioned ones. Telephone/cellphone calls, video chats (made easier since I purchased an iPad a month or so ago and with the pandemic companies have come through with updated and easier to use video apps like Google Duo) and using the mail to send things back and forth for holidays, birthdays and other memorable occasions. I upgraded her cellphone, giving her my old Galaxy Note 8 after I purchased a (gently) used Galaxy S20 from an app called Swappa.

In the same vein, since the early days of our relationship, we have a ritual, if you will in order to keep in touch. I send her a good morning message on Facebook Messenger, and if she feels so inclined, she’ll respond with a message of her own. In it, I detail how I slept overnight (I use a CPAP and she worries), anything that’s going to be happening with my upcoming day, and any future things that might be occurring to me at the time. When it’s a workday, I am able to communicate to her on my lunch, so we may have anywhere from a few minutes, to ten to fifteen during that time to talk about my day, her day, or whatever might be happening at the time. I get an opportunity to decompress, talk to someone about how my day is going, since my work tends to be a little more stressful at times than hers. (I work in retail, she works in home health care)

Towards evening, we have a phone or video call in the car on the way home. Oftentimes I’ll drive a couple streets over and park in a semi-abandoned parking lot and we’ll have 30-35 minutes to talk, just talk about whatever. My day, her day, current events, plans for the future, dreams or even daydreams. It’s nice to be able to talk, muse or just be together, even though we’re apart. It’s not the best solution, but for the time being it’s just going to have to do.