April 2018

A definite boom, and possibly a little bust

It’s always difficult when you’re purchasing things sight unseen, and even moreso when there’s a time constraint.

The other day, I was checking my email and there was a new posting on a board that I frequent on Fetlife.  It’s a ‘For Sale’ board for people that either have new things they want to sell, or things they no longer have a use for, and wish to make a quick buck from their excess.  Some things are good, others not so much.  As with all yard sale type items, it can easily be boom or bust.  But, there are times when you really find a good bargain and that’s why I keep an eye on this board (as well as a few others there).

One of the things I most definitely keep an eye out for are restraints & impact toys. Dungeon furniture not so much, as usually they’re unwieldy, they don’t break down easily and they’re cost-prohibitive to ship.  But things like floggers or single-tail whips, or restraints can easily be packed together, stuffed into a flat rate postal box and for less than $20, shipped across the country in a maximum of 3 days.

Such was the case last week, when a fellow posted that he was parting with his set of steel shackles and collar.  He posted pictures of them on his profile, along with measurements, which is a handy thing to do.  Most people that post on the board aren’t so thoughtful, it can be a myriad of banter before you get a better idea of what measurements are involved, and whether that particular item will fit the person you have in mind.  Even if the person is yourself!  Not everyone is the same size, so measurements are important.  Too, pictures help!  Not everyone seems to understand that.  They post a static item, and don’t include a picture!  How is someone going to know what you have for sale without a reference point?

As I mentioned above, I get an email when a new post is made on the board, and the post had been there for several hours before I saw it.  No one had contacted him as yet (that I knew of) so I sprang into action.  Checking out the pictures he had referenced, it appeared that the only wrinkle might be with the collar.  The shackles themselves seemed to be rather on the large side so if anything my pet might be swimming a little in their circumference, but that’s easily rectified.  One can expand the area with wrapping, going the other way isn’t so easy.  The one constant about metal is it’s rigidity and unforgiving quality.  Either it fits, or it doesn’t.  But for me, 2 out of 3 is still good odds and honestly the price was acceptable.  I know from shopping several sites that ‘build to order’ when you do custom work, the price tag goes up.  So I was already expecting a problem with the collar, not so much with the wrist and ankle restraints.  I contacted the seller and he responded pretty quickly.  That doesn’t always happen!  A few messages passed back and forth, he thankfully accepted PayPal (though I discovered PP has closed a particular handy loophole I used to use) and we were off to the races.  He did his due diligence and marked the items as SOLD on the site, but I was distressed that he removed the pictures from his profile at almost the same time.  No matter.  They were coming to me via US Mail in a few days, I could do my own measuring.

I had hoped they would arrive on Friday, but he was unable to post them until Wednesday so they arrived on Saturday while I was at work.  I received a text from my wife around lunchtime to let me know “a really freaking heavy box” had been delivered to the house that morning.  I didn’t open the box until late in the evening before I went to bed, but as I expected, the collar was a bit small, but the shackles fit me, so they’ll fit my girl.  I’m going to of course try it on her before I make any other sort of decision, but the shackles are definitely staying as part of my toy collection.  So as of right now, 2 booms, and 1 possible bust.  But I still think I made out very well.

Tacking into the wind

One would think with a title of a post like that I would be talking about sailing.  Now while I have done a bit of sailing in my youth, that’s not what I’m talking about here.  Just using a sailing term for another purpose.

I’ve been using my WP reader for many weeks now and have been following several bloggers.  One in particular posted today after a few weeks hiatus and the topic hit home for me in a rather large way.  I can easily relate with what she’s talking about, because nearly the same thing happened to me.

I don’t often speak about the lag time between subs/slaves that I’ve had.  Mostly because it’s not exactly something that’s worthy of talking about, the other part is because it’s mind numbingly boring (at least it is to me).  Even though I had a sub around 2016 for a few months, to me it was a ‘picking up where we left off‘ sort of situation, and in the end it failed for the same reason it failed the first time.  That being said, I start counting from the time my sub ‘leathers`treasure{L}’ asked for her release and went back to her vanilla life.  That was 2006.

In the intervening 10 years, I did my due diligence, I went to the occasional munch, though there weren’t any play parties in my area (that I was aware of).  I read, I worked, I lived, but I wasn’t finding anyone to interact with other than on IRC, but that was exclusively online, and people one found there tended to be in different countries, let alone not even close by, so meeting was unlikely at best, and impossible at worst.  Life went on.  I knew others were finding each other, having relationships and so on, but it ended up not being in the cards for me.  Even in that time, my wife had found several submissives of her own, but none seemed to be the right ‘fit’, so there weren’t any long-term relationships on her part either.

See what I mean?  Boring.  But even the many times I argued with myself, telling myself that it was time to quit screwing around, quit buying toys that were never going to be used on someone else, I still held out hope that someone would come along.  I firmly believe there’s someone for everyone (and even several someones) so I wasn’t quite at the point where my wife found herself.  She considers herself to be retired.  She’s broken her floggers and declared herself unable to find someone compatible.  Which I respect.  I just could never bring myself to say that.  I’ve had enough failures in my life, I really didn’t want this to be another one, or the last one.  I kept up my membership on Fetlife, again I went to munches, I even started another one, even though for whatever reason it never caught on and subsequently failed from lack of interest.  How does a munch fail in an urban area?  Search me….but it did.

And finally after all the angst, when I wasn’t expecting it, it happened.  It’s not completely idyllic, there are hurdles to cover, and problems to solve.  But I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

See?  No talking about sailing.  Or drowning for that matter.


When asked what one of my favorite ideas about a scene would be, I’ve always answered, “play in a thunderstorm”.  I just love the idea of playing in a driving rain, having my submissive tied to a tree, or to a post and me playing with her body, while the lightning crackled in the sky and the thunder rattled all around us.

Of course, I wouldn’t play with any toys that are worth a bit of money, but the nice part about nature is, it provides toys of it’s own making that don’t cost a dime.  Switches, branches, brambles or even rocks being used with rope for weights, and of course there are a myriad of different toys one can use that are waterproof, or just plain discardable after they outlived their usefulness, and won’t cost you a mint to replace.

I’m reminded of this because we’re experiencing our first thunderstorm of 2018.  Stirs the imagination, it does!

More Opportunities, more toys

Oh brother.  I have to say I’ve never been one to pass up a good bargain.  I’ve always said that it’s a good thing I don’t have an inexhaustible supply of money, because I’d end up with a warehouse full of BDSM toys.

I bought another toy that was on my bucket list last night.  Ever since I started using the computer to connect, I’ve also used it to watch porn.  And in my kink formative years, there always needed to be something with restraints in them.  Now rope restraints are all well and good, leather restraints do the job, but there’s nothing quite like seeing someone struggling in cold, hard steel restraints.  Just gets the juices flowing.  At least it does me.

When I was watching Insex during the late 90’s and early 2000’s, I was always floored at the cornucopia of metal toys that the owner of the site had.  I learned later that almost all of them were hand-made, forged from raw steel by a fellow who went by the alias ‘KGB’.  I’ve said many a time if Intersec/Insex ever had a garage (or estate) sale of the items that were made for the various websites, I’d be nearly the first in line.  You just can’t pass up good workmanship!  So, in the same vein over the years, I’ve been haunting sites that sell old gear, from people who have either gotten out of the scene, or want to make some quick cash selling things they don’t have a use for anymore.

I’ve been a member of Fetlife nearly from the beginning of that site.  I’ve also been a member of their ‘Kinky Items For Sale’ board for many years as well.  Certainly I’ve gotten more than a few good bargains from that board in that time, with people who have taken good care of their toys, but for one reason or another they either don’t wish to be active and want to re-home their past purchases, or they just don’t want them anymore.  For every person that wishes to sell their used panties (ew), there are people that want to part with quality floggers, restraints, bondage furniture and other goodies at fairly good prices.  Even better than eBay I’ve discovered, and way better than Craigslist (I’m continually reminded of the woman who posted for sale her late husband’s St. Andrew’s Cross, stating that it was a very fancy clothes hanger).

Certainly there are many places one can get forged steel toys, and even at better than average prices.  But when someone offers them at a discount, it’s sometimes a race to get it before someone else can contact them.  Which just happened to be the case last night.  Within about an hour and a half of the person posting them, I was able to broker a deal and purchased them.  Of course, with such a quick sealed deal, I have to be certain that they’re going to fit my pet.  But, that’s something that we can discover when she visits.  And if not, I can always resell them.  Because there’s always someone willing to buy.



lucid-dream-control-neurosicnecneewsI’ve been having a lot of dreams lately.  I’m not really certain why, but they’ve been rather odd ones, as dreams go.  Now I know that dreams are the mind’s way of keeping itself occupied when one is sleeping, dredging up things from one’s past, one’s life experience and mashing them all together in one way or another.  But lately I’m starting to wonder if my brain is trying to tell me something.

I had another dream last night, and it was about the status of a house I never lived in, and it was about my in-laws after they died.  Specifically about the house that they lived in, except the items in the house were (for the most part) completely different.  It started out with my wife and I about to go on vacation, but as I walked out of the house to pack the car, I saw a pile of roof shingles in the front yard, off to the side, under a tree that doesn’t exist in my current front yard.  Looking back at the house, I could see that there were shingles missing, a great quantity of them, and there was an alcove revealed that again, doesn’t exist in my current house.  My wife by then had come outside, and she and I discussed calling a roofer about fixing the issue.  She goes back inside and I investigate further, seeing that there are bundles of shingles, (thousands of them) in the alcove.

As I’m wondering why this is the case, not to mention that this doesn’t exist in my current home, I’m suddenly whisked into the house, looking up at a cathedral ceiling.  I’ve been transported into my in-laws house, after they’ve both died.  Except that while on the outside the house looks the same, on the inside it’s quite another story.  My father-in-law (Charlie), was just as much a pack rat as I am, as my own parents were.  But in some ways infinitely more.  When we were cleaning out the in-laws house, there were mounds and mounds of newspapers in his study, many yellowed with age, but nearly all of them had articles circled, and they were saved for one reason for another.  None were historically necessary, they were just things that he’d read, circled and saved for some future need.  That probably never came.

Charlie was also a collector of items that never quite made money.  He was very intelligent (he served in World War II in the US Army Aircorps attaining the rank of Colonel eventually) but he had a soft spot for inventors that never really made their break.

Anyway, I’m getting off topic here.  I’m standing in a room with a cathedral ceiling, looking up at artwork that must be worth many hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not millions.  I can hear my wife outside of the house talking about roofing contractors, but I’m also busy marveling at all the things in different rooms of the house that apparently I never noticed before.  Every room that I go into is chock full of things, but they’re neatly displayed, not just piled one thing on top of another.  Old typewriters, but in pristine condition, set up in historical order from one that was nearly invented to a more modern model.  Cameras, from old Kodak brownies up until ones that are digital and have more doodads than you could ever imagine, let alone know how to use.  On and on, room after room of amazing items, books, film canisters, everything that you could possibly imagine.

I don’t really remember at what point I woke up, but it seemed very vivid when I did.  And I’m able to relate it now, which I’ve been able to do before, but over the last couple of weeks my dreams have been just.that.vivid.  Uncanny.

What does it all mean?  Do I look like Freud?  No idea.