February 2018

Big boy toys

I’ve always considered myself to be a big kid in many aspects.  One of the things that I’ve always liked was fire trucks.  Another would be excavating equipment.  When I was younger, I had 2 uncles (1 direct relation, 1 not) who owned and operated their own excavation business in Sullivan County, NY.  In July, around the time of my birthday, my family would drive up to their place, where they had 100 acres around their respective houses (they lived next door to one another) and would have a combination birthday party and July 4 celebration.

One of the things that my uncles would do, was pile my brother and me into the company pickup and drive out to whatever job site they were working on.  We’d both get a ride on one of the bulldozers and for me, it was the best thing since sliced bread.  I don’t believe my brother got the same kick out of it that I did because, after a few years, I’d be the only one going out to the job site with our uncles.  Which was just fine with me, because I loved riding on the bulldozer.

When I was in grade school, I did a little research in what it would take to learn heavy machinery, but when my mother got wind of it, she shut it down pretty quickly.  Both she and my father were convinced that the best thing for me to do was get a college education, and get a better job (paid more) once I left school.  Set me up for my future, that whole routine.  I still wonder at times if that was the right choice.  In my current employment, I’ve not made use of my BA degree, so in essence, I wasted 4 years of time and a good amount of money.  Too, I wonder what sort of life I would have led if I didn’t go to college, instead got a job soon after HS graduation.

I was video chatting last evening after work with my pet, and the topic wound around to what our eventual mutual living arrangements might look like.  We’d both like a place that’s off the beaten path, but with access to an urban area or two where we’d hopefully have connections in the BDSM community.  Somewhere that’s not too warm, not too cold (I may love snow, and my snowblower, but I don’t want to be shoveling snow in my 70s) but have the ability to be ‘just right‘ as the 3 Little Bears story would relate.  My girl said she’s looking forward to a sizeable front yard, and I commented that I’d like about 10-15 acres to play around with my bulldozer.  Yep, got that wide-eyed look from her on that.  A little stammering and a little more pleading later, and we were then talking about what the bulldozer might do with playtime.  I like her imagination as well as the nice way she has about her when I talk about my ideas for the future.  It dovetails so nicely with my own.  She’s not one to shoot down my ideas right off the bat, she likes to throw in a bit of logic every now and again to bring me back down to earth.  Way much better than saying “No, that’s not feasible, Daddy…”

And finally yes I know bulldozers, graders, lifts, and backhoes all cost a lot of money.  Do I have the funds for these flights of fancy?  No, but it’s nice to think about it.

Read me a story, Daddy

I’ve never been in love with the sound of my own voice.  I’ve read somewhere that when we hear our own voice, we don’t really hear how it actually sounds.  Others’ hear it differently.  Now, my pet has asked me to send her audio recordings, so that while we’re apart, she can have something of me that she can go back to, listen and feel close to me.  I was ok with the idea, but what to do?  What to say?  While I was thinking about this, she had talked to a friend of hers about it and the friend suggested I could read a passage from a book, or a poem, or something that was long enough that my pet could have that snippet of my voice to hold and cherish.

Around the same time, I had thought of the same thing myself.  I like books, I like reading them.  I prefer fantasy and science fiction, but I also like books about the BDSM scene.  For many years I’ve been a great fan of Laura Antoniou and her collection of books called The Marketplace Series.  I even joined in and supported her sixth book (The Inheritor) on a Kickstarter project.  So I decided to read and record the series for my girl.  Of course, it’s not so simple, because audio files tend to be rather large depending on the format that you use, so it’s been a bit of trial and error to get the size of the files right for sending via email.  But I’ve been getting the kinks out slowly, and finally managed to figure it all out in the last couple of days.

I’ve listened to my recordings and I still don’t like the sound of my own voice.  But she does, and this keeps us close, which is what we both want.  So it works out.  Hope that you enjoy every chapter, pet.

Good morning, pet

Every morning I send a good morning message to my girl on social media.  It’s your basic greeting with some thoughts that I may have had after I put her to bed the night before, as well as things I believe she needs to know for the course of her day that’s coming up.  It’s something that I’ve been doing for a long time with my various charges; (with some changes over the years) certainly there have been changes due to newer forms of communication that have been instituted and created since I started out on this journey nearly 35 years ago. (damn, has it been that long??)

I think I’ve always been better with the written word than the spoken one.  I can formulate my thoughts better and overall have a better grasp of what I wish to convey, rather than coming up with it off the top of my head.  Not to say that I can’t carry on a good conversation over the phone, I certainly can.  My wife of 24 years can certainly attest that I was able to keep her interested during our long phone conversations while we were long distance dating in the early 1990s.

When I met my first submissive/slave on a primitive social media platform (which btw no longer exists) we managed to keep in contact sporadically.  At first, it was occasional landline phone calls (think Ma Bell’s corded invention that worked well for over 100 years) and email, with occasional snail mail messages, passed back and forth.  She lived about 2 hours north of where I did, so we couldn’t get together all that often.  Even so, we did manage to get together to play sporadically and had a good time whilst doing so.  A few play parties in her city, and I even purchased her collar at a leather shop there.  Regrettably, due to her desire to move to the left coast, we had to part ways, but we built a solid bond and remained friends, though I only ever occasionally see her on social media, and we haven’t actually spoken in years.

As the years passed, more submissives/slaves/play partners entered into my life, served and then passed on, either corporeally or just how life works in its mysterious ways.  Ironically, none of them have ever been closer than about 40 miles from my home, so it could be easily said that my BDSM relationships have almost all been long distance affairs.  Certainly, I’d rather it not have been that way, it just occurred in that manner.  Communication has always been a pillar of the relationship, and I firmly believe in some form of communication being made daily if possible.  I know this revelation will come to a slight surprise to my current pet, in that on occasion even recently I’ve gone more than a day without contacting her.  Over my history, however, I would say that’s been an exception rather than the rule.  Especially in a long distance relationship (LDR) it’s essential to keep the control in hand as much as possible, especially with a pet that by her own admission prefers someone very much in control of her daily life.

So from the past, we come to the present.  Every morning, I post a message to my pet, so that she has something nice to wake up to, give her an insight to my day, any expectations I have for her day, and that I will be in touch over the course of that particular day.  For the time being, it’s my version of a wake-up kiss.  Over time, it will evolve, as all things do.