January 2018

Shipping Shenanigans

I do a lot of shopping online.  And of course, when you do shop online, you have to deal with shipping issues.  Normally it’s no problem because when you’re shipping to yourself, you already are confident the address that you’re putting down is your own because you live there.  When you’re shipping to others, that’s when the shenanigans begin.

Case in point.  My girl has recently moved to a different part of the state that she lives in, and for her new job I wished to supply her with a few items that will come in handy.  What I’d originally planned on was sending her a spare GPS (Magellan) I have here, along with a car charger for her phone and a charger splitter that I had purchased for my trip to see her last November.  Seeing as I would have had to go to the post office after work, I was thinking that it was entirely possible that the items wouldn’t arrive in time for her needs, so I went to Amazon to have all the items shipped at once, brand new and she could have them before the end of the week.  At least that was my intention.  She’d supplied me a day or so earlier with her new address, but she’d forgotten to mention that there was an apartment number included.  To compound the problem, mail isn’t delivered to the said apartment complex, so her sister with whom she moved in, has a local PO box.  UPS doesn’t deliver to PO boxes, they deliver to physical addresses.

So, I put in the physical address that I had, clicked on the payment option and hit send.  Thinking that all was hunky-dory, I went to work.  Later in the day when my girl and I were chatting via text, I mentioned what I had done and she asked the very reasonable question “Did you put in the apartment number?”  Uh-oh.  Now we have a problem.  Immediately I went to the Amazon app and tried to cancel the order, or have them change the shipping information.  Since there’s no simple way to change that, I tried again to cancel the order.  Naturally, since at least 4 hours had passed, and Amazon expecting things to be just fine, couldn’t cancel the order.  I had to wait until I got home from work to contact them and try to get the address updated.  Which I did.  And the comedy of errors continued.

Amazon seems to prefer that you use their chat system to contact them, rather than making a phone call or using email.  Tuesday evening I used that, spoke to one of their call center people (Jay) and explained my problem.  Well, he seemed to think it wasn’t going to be an issue.  After a few moments of waiting, he stated that he was going to “monitor the shipment and contact the carrier to update the address”  Great, I thought, now we’re getting somewhere!  After having thanked him and given him good feedback on the survey that popped up, I messaged my girl and told her that the items were due to arrive on Thursday.  Except that they didn’t.  Thursday came and UPS didn’t have the correct address.  I know that because I checked the UPS website and was informed that they had tried to deliver, but without an apartment number they could not.  So the box stayed on the little brown truck and was driven around her area all day.  I was at work, without the use of my phone (or computer) so I wasn’t able to do anything until I got home again that evening.

I contacted Amazon again.  New chat, new call center person, more headaches.  What I should have done was contact UPS directly, but since I wasn’t technically the shipper of record, I thought (quite reasonably) that they wouldn’t accept any address changes that I offered them.  So I went to Amazon again.  And was disappointed, again.  The new call center person (Vipan.  These are obviously non-native English speakers because the syntax is all wrong and they’re definitely not in the US..but they seem to try to get you to believe they are) apologized profusely for the problem and recommended that he cancel the entire order, refund my money and I could start a new order with the correct address.  I have to admit I did a double-take with that one.  The order is already nearly at its destination!  Why cause UPS the double problem of shipping something back to you, and then shipping another IDENTICAL package, but with one small addition to the address!?!  I realize Jeff Bezos is a bazillionaire, but I think even he would think that was a bit stupid.  I countered with what I thought was a reasonable suggestion.  Why couldn’t our intrepid customer service rep do what his colleague had suggested on Tuesday?  Contact the shipper and update them on the address.  Well, I was informed that ‘they can’t do that’.  Um, huh?  Excuse me?  Your colleague on Tuesday seemed to think it was not only possible but what he was going to do!  So either he was lying, or you are Sir.  Either way, he could only provide me with 800 numbers to the various shipping companies (USPS & UPS) and I could take the time to do it myself.  I’m actually surprised I didn’t have a real headache at this point.  If I’d known that I would have contacted UPS as soon as I’d had a shipping ID number.

After getting off the chat with our intrepid call center gremlin, I called the UPS number and got an automated system.  I listened to the options, but none of them were for customer service.  Apparently, with UPS, you can’t get a real person.  So, I navigated the menus and came to the part where I could update an address.  Which I did.  I confirmed the correction and hung up.  Thinking that -finally- it was completed, I contacted my girl and informed her that the package should be arriving today.  Although in the back of my mind, I was less than confident this was the last I’d heard about this particular shipment.  And I was right.  This morning at 8 am UPS called looking for the name of the person on the shipment.  After confirming that it was indeed UPS on the phone, I supplied (again) the apartment number to complete the address.  Apparently, the automated system didn’t get it right after all.  I’m hopeful that they’re going to get it to the destination today.

A comedy of errors isn’t always that funny.



Dovey: *trips over her chains while walking*

Me: *laughs*

Dovey: Don’t laugh at me!

Me: I can’t help it. You’re so cute! I like it when you suffer.

Me: Isn’t there a German word for enjoying the suffering of others? Schadenfreude…

Dovey: It’s not the same. That’s a very negative thing. Taking pleasure in the suffering of others.

Me: *smirks*

Dovey: You know what I mean!


You, dear reader, may have noticed that there’s been a change in the title and temperament of this blog in the last week or so.  There’s a rather large reason for that, and it is this.  My former Miss and I have undergone a switch.  I’m now in the driver’s seat, and she’s now the passenger on this journey. (When I say ‘passenger’ I don’t mean it literally, she’s still an active and contributing member of our relationship and dynamic) It’s been something that’s been simmering away in the background, and finally this past week we did something about it.

As always with our discussions, they get quite animated, and even though we’re an LDR (Long Distance Relationship) couple, sometimes they get rather loud (or as much as can be made loud through text and other forms of communication).  But, in the end, we came to a mutual understanding, shared many truths (and a few tears) and changed things so that we’re both happier and more centered in us.

Ever since we met in person this past November, I’ve been having feelings and trepidations about our dynamic, and apparently, she had been too.  While our time together was wonderful, and intense, it just didn’t do it for me.  I felt something was lacking, and that I wasn’t pleasing enough for her (she has disputed this, she felt things were all right, for the most part).  There were some hiccups in our play, as happens when people first get together, the things that happen and connect in a purely online environment don’t work in reality.  Just like when you envision someone in a certain position that doesn’t take into account their body makeup, and things like gravity and reality, when you are with that person, in person, in a hotel room, you discover it doesn’t work.  And hopefully, you didn’t build your entire dynamic around that particular thing, because…well disaster!  But we didn’t.  This most definitely isn’t my first online to reality BDSM rodeo.  Not that I prefer this method, it just seems to be the way that I meet potential submissives (or Dominants).  It’s certainly how I met my wife, but that’s another topic/entry, for another time.

During the course of our conversation, my Miss informed me that for several months, she had been feeling more deferential than dominant.  It’s not that she feels she’s not dominant at all, that in fact, she was lying to herself, she just said that she would feel better if someone was directing her, taking charge and being in control.  The biggest fear she had was that I wouldn’t feel the same way (although on the other side of the slash) and that she would lose me in the process.  I reassured her that was NOT the case, it wasn’t going to happen and then I revealed to her my trepidations and thoughts about the last few months as well.  That set off a new round of conversation and sharing and we came to the conclusion that we both had been feeling the same thing and it was time to make a change.  A switcheroo, if you will.

So, the ‘boy’ has now become the Dominant, and my Miss is now my submissive.  She sees herself as my ‘baby girl’, and me as her Daddy, though neither of us is the least bit interested in the DD/lg (Daddy/littlegirl) dynamic.  They’re just titles in this instance.  Seeing her in diapers with a rattle would be a HUGE putoff for me, and I’m 100% positive that she has zero interest in that as well.  Best left to others that are more interested and more engaged in that activity.  I have nothing against DD/lg, I highly respect those that are, but really, it’s just not for me.

In the last week since we made the change, things seem to have improved greatly in our conversations and in our mutual overall outlook.  My girl has embarked on a move to a different part of her state, and she’s taking on a new job, with new responsibilities and she’s now 3 hours closer than she was before.  So in 2018, instead of me having to drive 10 hours to meet her, we both can drive 3 (and change) and meet up more often.  That’s a plus!  I’d say things are looking up, and we can forge ahead towards more interesting and more mutually satisfying times together.  My girl and me.  I love her immensely, and I’m oh so very proud of her.

Here’s to the journey ahead.

Resolutions for 2018

Come the New Year, we all make resolutions.  Most are about weight loss, some are about working our way around making our lives better, or just trying to change little things so that we can have a better life. I’ve found that the more resolutions you have, the less likely that you’re going to accomplish most of them or any of the important ones that you wished to focus on. So with that in mind, I’m going to attempt to keep my list short for 2018. Baby steps, I suppose would be the most apt way to address it. Fix a couple, and others will fall in line, or be brought to the fore. If you want to make a journey, you have to take the first step.

So, without further ado, here’s my list of resolutions for 2018, in no particular order:

  • Drink no more than 2 Chai Lattes per day. (loaded with sugar, not really good for me in large quantities)
  • Write more on my blog.  I can use it for talking to myself, and just musing about things, as well as what I have been using it for so far.
  • Make an effort to cull and downsize the number of things that I have, eliminate redundancies in items, lower my footprint as it were.
  • Clean the house, make it more presentable.
  • Lose 50 lbs.  (I’m approximately 285 on any given day, that would bring me down to about 235, and see how I look/feel at that point)
  • Winterize the house, the recent cold snap has made me aware that we’re wasting energy (and wasting money) heating the place constantly, instead of retaining the heat that’s generated.
  • Eat healthier.  Make better food choices.  I’m not getting any younger.
  • Spend more time getting to know my Miss, and being involved with her.
  • Play with the cat more.  I can tell he’s getting bored and needs more stimulation.  He needs to lose weight as well.
  • Go through my storage bin, see if I can eliminate items there that I haven’t used in 20 plus years.  Save the money from my storage fees ($876/yr) and plow them into reducing my debt. (Figured over the last 24 years I’ve spent close to $22,000 in storage fees)
  • Reduce my CC debt.

See?  Easy.  Now I just have to apply myself to getting them done.  Miss has said that she’s happy to help with the foody aspects.  Perhaps together we can shed some weight.  I’ve heard it’s better to do that with a partner.  They can motivate you (and you they) and help when things are getting you down.

Here’s to 2018, and success.