November 29, 2016


  • Weight: 281
  • BP: Elevated

Dear Miss:

As you well know it’s been several days into your boy’s vacation and not a lot on his list is getting accomplished.  Mostly that’s due to your boy’s rampant procrastination, and to put it mildly, you’re not pleased with this.  And you’ve expressed it to your boy in no uncertain terms.

As you’re also aware, your boy has been rather incommunicado over the last day or so, dreading talking to you, since he knows how upset you are with him.  It’s not a good situation (for either of us) and it just gets worse the longer it goes on.  It’s kind of like a band-aid that someone has on, either you pull it off little by little, or just rip it off all in one pull…either way it’s going to hurt, so which is the better method?  Your boy was never good at that sort of decision, and he knows pulling it off after it’s been sitting in one place for a long time could actually be worse, since the scab might come off with it as well, needing to start the healing process all over again.

You’ve said that your boy has disappointed you, and he’s aware of it.  You also said that were boy to do something, it would be better, but he still hasn’t gotten around to doing what he planned to do yesterday and compounded it further by staying away from talking today.  Your boy sent you a message saying that he’s not feeling like talking.  That’s pretty typical of your boy, he doesn’t always want to express himself verbally, oftentimes when he finally expresses himself, it comes down to the written word.  Like here for instance.

Tomorrow is another day.  The fifth of his vacation.  As before, he has the same opportunity to do something, rather than letting things fester on and become worse.  If the past is any example, things will probably happen just the way they have before.  Your boy isn’t promising anything is going to be different, as he’s done that before and ended up letting you down.  So time will tell.  Here is where we are right now.  20161105_200306 20161128_171543With any luck, there will be change coming down the pike this time tomorrow.

Insofar as the punishment that you have told your boy that he’s earned, he’s pretty well aware that it’s going to be considerable now that things have gone on for another day.  Your boy read your post about your take on procrastination, and it’s spot on.  For someone that apparently hasn’t spent a lot of time doing it in their lifetime, your boy supposes it’s easy to dismiss, but it’s a habit that has followed your boy rather faithfully over the years.  From grade school, through high school and even college, your boy managed to fail more than one class by avoiding to go, and even then it didn’t teach him a lesson.  Not really certain how your punishments are going to turn the tide, but stranger things have happened.   Another thing that you said was, it’s up to your boy to do this, and you’re right….eventually no manner or amount of punishment is going to really change things, it’s like smoking, or any habit…someone has to want to change, before they’re going to be successful at the effort.

The old adage is that it takes six weeks to create a habit.  Perhaps it takes 50 years or more to discard one.  Or less.  At this point your boy doesn’t know.  But he does know he’s sorry that you’re being inconvenienced by this.