The path has arteries

  • Weight: 284
  • BP: 130/75

Dear Miss:

Your boy hasn’t written in several days, but with our revised understanding that’s not something to be so concerned about.  Even though he hasn’t been writing, he’s still been thinking, and pondering about the world that we’re going to build in the years to come.

You stated a while ago that you were going to build a ‘pack’, and your boy was going to be a part of it, a significant part as he understood it at the time.  While you were going to obviously be the Alpha, your boy would be one of the trainers of the pack, considering his prior knowledge and years of participating as well as understanding and growing within the BDSM scene.

Your boy noticed that you posted a question in the last few days about what the connection (or is there one) between a poly situation and a pack.  While a lot of the answers seemed to address the question, most of them didn’t seem to address it in any detail; they were variations on a theme, a poly family to a certain extent is a pack in another name and description, at least as your boy understands it, or has seen it applied.  In The Ethical Slut the authors go into quite a bit of detail about how to proceed in a poly situation, how to address it and so on.  That being said, poly doesn’t have one textbook flavor.  How it can be done is in the same vein as a how-to of BDSM.  No two people (or couples or groups) do it the same way.  While there are certain no-nos that everyone is aware of (or should be), the rest is up to the interpretation of the people that are engaging in it.  That’s one of the many things that makes BDSM so interesting.  The textbook can be interpreted so many different ways, that no way is really, technically wrong.  Granted they all may not work out, or may not be feasible, but it’s not really incorrect.

You and your boy are always discussing ‘the future’ and how it will transpire.  That in and of itself is a fluid conversation, since the ‘how’ and ‘manner’ are always going to be in flux.  Once you and your boy are able to sit down and map things out better, adding in the interpersonal and real life ramifications, it will probably go better and faster.  It’s not wrong necessarily to dream, just have to be sure that we both realize that dreams and fantasy fodder don’t always translate to the here and now.

“Perchance to dream..”  Nothing wrong with that.