November 2016

Dread

  • Weight: 281
  • BP: Elevated

Dear Miss:

As you well know it’s been several days into your boy’s vacation and not a lot on his list is getting accomplished.  Mostly that’s due to your boy’s rampant procrastination, and to put it mildly, you’re not pleased with this.  And you’ve expressed it to your boy in no uncertain terms.

As you’re also aware, your boy has been rather incommunicado over the last day or so, dreading talking to you, since he knows how upset you are with him.  It’s not a good situation (for either of us) and it just gets worse the longer it goes on.  It’s kind of like a band-aid that someone has on, either you pull it off little by little, or just rip it off all in one pull…either way it’s going to hurt, so which is the better method?  Your boy was never good at that sort of decision, and he knows pulling it off after it’s been sitting in one place for a long time could actually be worse, since the scab might come off with it as well, needing to start the healing process all over again.

You’ve said that your boy has disappointed you, and he’s aware of it.  You also said that were boy to do something, it would be better, but he still hasn’t gotten around to doing what he planned to do yesterday and compounded it further by staying away from talking today.  Your boy sent you a message saying that he’s not feeling like talking.  That’s pretty typical of your boy, he doesn’t always want to express himself verbally, oftentimes when he finally expresses himself, it comes down to the written word.  Like here for instance.

Tomorrow is another day.  The fifth of his vacation.  As before, he has the same opportunity to do something, rather than letting things fester on and become worse.  If the past is any example, things will probably happen just the way they have before.  Your boy isn’t promising anything is going to be different, as he’s done that before and ended up letting you down.  So time will tell.  Here is where we are right now.  20161105_200306 20161128_171543With any luck, there will be change coming down the pike this time tomorrow.

Insofar as the punishment that you have told your boy that he’s earned, he’s pretty well aware that it’s going to be considerable now that things have gone on for another day.  Your boy read your post about your take on procrastination, and it’s spot on.  For someone that apparently hasn’t spent a lot of time doing it in their lifetime, your boy supposes it’s easy to dismiss, but it’s a habit that has followed your boy rather faithfully over the years.  From grade school, through high school and even college, your boy managed to fail more than one class by avoiding to go, and even then it didn’t teach him a lesson.  Not really certain how your punishments are going to turn the tide, but stranger things have happened.   Another thing that you said was, it’s up to your boy to do this, and you’re right….eventually no manner or amount of punishment is going to really change things, it’s like smoking, or any habit…someone has to want to change, before they’re going to be successful at the effort.

The old adage is that it takes six weeks to create a habit.  Perhaps it takes 50 years or more to discard one.  Or less.  At this point your boy doesn’t know.  But he does know he’s sorry that you’re being inconvenienced by this.

boy

You have a week off, what are you going to do with it, boy?

  • Weight: 284
  • BP: 128/76

Dear Miss:

As you’re aware, your boy requested a week’s vacation and has started it as of yesterday when he got off from work.  He has 8 days (one week and one day off from the previous work week) off this time, with a further 2 weeks of vacation time to take before April 2017, but your boy generally doesn’t go anywhere on his vacations.  Mostly the time is spent at home, vegging a bit, doing some odd jobs around the house, but for the most part not too much gets accomplished.  Sure, your boy always has grandiose plans, but his nasty habit of procrastination keeps him from accomplishing the grand schemes that his mind dreams up.

You’ve mentioned more than once that you’d like to excise your boy of the habit, but it’s pretty deeply ingrained in him.  Case in point would be today, although boy did go to bed at a decent hour last night (10:30 pm) upon waking up at 6:30 this morning, he didn’t immediately start working.  Instead, he came downstairs and did some things, puttered for the most part, and wiled away a couple of hours reading news and political reports, went to Facebook as well as some other websites and updated himself on current events, as well as some self entertaining, as boys have a tendency to do.

It’s certainly be a while since your boy had what might be called a -real- vacation.  Your boy doesn’t really count this past August, when he went back home to visit his birth mother, and do some family business on the adopted side, that needed to be attended to.  That was a rather whirlwind 3 days, and granted it was in the middle of his scheduled vacation from work.  Some sightseeing, some down time, but it was in mostly familiar territory.  Your boy equates a ‘vacation’ with time spent in a place that one travels to; in unfamiliar territory…sightseeing, and so on.  The last time your boy had a vacation of that sort was 2009.

So, what’s on tap for this 8 day extravaganza you might ask?  boy doesn’t have a completely detailed list, but certainly he’s planning on working to pare down the amount of stuff in and around the house, cleaning up some on the outside of the house (if it ever stops raining here) and working on sorting the basement out to make more sense..so things can be stored down there and not mold like they have been in years past.

Your boy will be updating you on his progress, and hopefully by December 4th, things will be easier to walk through in the house and there will be some progress made towards decorating the house a bit for the upcoming holiday season.  Miracles have happened before!

boy

The path has arteries

  • Weight: 284
  • BP: 130/75

Dear Miss:

Your boy hasn’t written in several days, but with our revised understanding that’s not something to be so concerned about.  Even though he hasn’t been writing, he’s still been thinking, and pondering about the world that we’re going to build in the years to come.

You stated a while ago that you were going to build a ‘pack’, and your boy was going to be a part of it, a significant part as he understood it at the time.  While you were going to obviously be the Alpha, your boy would be one of the trainers of the pack, considering his prior knowledge and years of participating as well as understanding and growing within the BDSM scene.

Your boy noticed that you posted a question in the last few days about what the connection (or is there one) between a poly situation and a pack.  While a lot of the answers seemed to address the question, most of them didn’t seem to address it in any detail; they were variations on a theme, a poly family to a certain extent is a pack in another name and description, at least as your boy understands it, or has seen it applied.  In The Ethical Slut the authors go into quite a bit of detail about how to proceed in a poly situation, how to address it and so on.  That being said, poly doesn’t have one textbook flavor.  How it can be done is in the same vein as a how-to of BDSM.  No two people (or couples or groups) do it the same way.  While there are certain no-nos that everyone is aware of (or should be), the rest is up to the interpretation of the people that are engaging in it.  That’s one of the many things that makes BDSM so interesting.  The textbook can be interpreted so many different ways, that no way is really, technically wrong.  Granted they all may not work out, or may not be feasible, but it’s not really incorrect.

You and your boy are always discussing ‘the future’ and how it will transpire.  That in and of itself is a fluid conversation, since the ‘how’ and ‘manner’ are always going to be in flux.  Once you and your boy are able to sit down and map things out better, adding in the interpersonal and real life ramifications, it will probably go better and faster.  It’s not wrong necessarily to dream, just have to be sure that we both realize that dreams and fantasy fodder don’t always translate to the here and now.

“Perchance to dream..”  Nothing wrong with that.

boy

Day of Rememberance

  • Weight:282
  • BP: 130/75

Dear Miss:

For many people, November 22 is a day that is remembered as the sudden and unexpected death of a President of the United States.  John Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas, Texas today 53 years ago.  But your boy remembers the day as that, and as something a little more personal.  His adopted mother died on this day back in 1989, 27 years ago.

Your boy thought about going into the details of that day, but it’s not really fodder for a public forum like this.  Besides, it’s been a long time, and though your boy in a way misses his mother every day he knows what she instilled in stays with him every day, and has helped to shape him into the boy that your boy is today.

So every November 22, at 10 am, your boy remembers that other Tuesday, and what transpired.  He observes a moment of silence no matter where he is or what he’s doing.  Remembering and in a way celebrating his mother. Your boy hopes she’s still proud of him, and what he’s become.

boy

(I) Support POTUS

  • Weight: 278
  • BP: 126/78

Dear Miss:

Your boy wrote a piece on the just finished election, and posted it on Fetlife a few minutes ago.  He’s copying it here, because he believes it needs to be said, and said somewhere other than where one has to be vetted in order to see it.  Yes it’s written in first person, but your boy believes you’ll forgive that, due to the content and where it was copied from.

I support POTUS

I know when people read the title, they’re going to say “You’re for Trump??”

No, I’m not. I didn’t vote for him, I didn’t believe for one moment he was going to be the Republican candidate for President, and I certainly didn’t think he was going to prevail in the election on Tuesday.

Nevertheless, he won. That’s what a democracy is all about, that’s how things are done in this country. Candidates run, someone is elected, some people are going to be giddy, others despondent. Winners, Losers…it’s all how it’s supposed to go.

In 2017 there’s going to be a new President of the United States sitting in Washington, DC. Not since Woodrow Wilson will there have been someone in the Oval Office who has had virtually no experience whatsoever in politics or the military. Is that going to be a good thing? Remains to be seen. Certainly President Trump is going to have a series of very large hills to climb, first with coming to grips with what he’s gotten himself into, and secondly with appeasing all the people that he promised whatever to get to where he is now.

Presidential candidates make promises to get elected. Well, all candidates make promises in order to gain support, votes, etc. But by and large Presidential candidates are pretty much the worst when it comes to this. Because they want the office so bad, they’ll practically sell their soul to get it. And once in office, a lot of the promises are found to be quite hollow. Others are impossible to keep We all know it in the electorate, but we accept it as part of the system and it happens all over again.

When Barrack Obama was elected in 2008, one of his big promises was to close the detention center that had been built attached to our naval base in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. ‘Gitmo’ is still in operation, 8 years later. Could he have closed it? Sure, he could have…but it wouldn’t have made anyone safer, and the obvious question would be…where do those prisoners go? They can’t come to the US, since if they did they would be afforded due process, and apparently that’s not something anyone in this government wants, Republican OR Democrat. They can’t go to other countries, because of the fact that they might be released once out of US military control. So the detention center in Cuba has to remain open, because that conundrum can’t be so easily resolved.

Getting back to the topic of this piece, I have to say this. I’m an American citizen. I support the rule of law. Without law there’s Anarchy. In spite of many instances of the police not following the law, just doing whatever they feel like (shooting unarmed people without due cause et al) I still support having police and enforcing agencies, because without it…yup…anarchy. I have a big pet peeve about police vehicles speeding on highways because they feel they’re above the law. That’s my peeve..I know others that feel the same way, and about some police officers believing the law doesn’t apply to them, because they’re the enforcers. Well, that’s not right either. I remember a line from an old 1970s show, where a police officer parked in a handicapped spot and a child spoke up telling him he needed to move his vehicle. The officer agreed and moved his car….saying “the police need to follow the rules, like everyone else.”

We’re a country of over 300 million people. According to this website there are approximately 231 million eligible voters in the United States. In the election that just concluded, less than HALF cast ballots (A little over 131 million). Now we know that for a long time the problem of voter apathy is rife, people just don’t feel (for whatever reason) that their vote counts. A lot of them because of the elections of this year and 2000, where the popular vote didn’t match up with the Electoral College. The founders of this country didn’t trust large groups of people to make a decision. They wanted a new system where large voting blocks (cities) were countered (or checked) by a way to collectively gather together smaller blocks (rural areas) and give them a voice. So we the people don’t elect the leader of our country. We elect representatives or ‘electors’, who do the actual electing. There have been several memes on Facebook in the last day or so, that suggested there’s a way for Mrs. Clinton to still win the election. If a large number of electors were to ‘defect’, vote contrary to the way they were selected, she could still win. Theoretically, that’s true. Electors aren’t necessarily bound by the candidate they were selected to vote for. There have been 157 instances where electors have ‘defected’, voted opposite to what they were supposed to do. Some were crises of conscience, others were because a candidate unexpectedly died between the time of the election and the time where the electors were meeting and so on. The likelihood of an immense block of electors going rogue is extremely remote.

Anyway, I’m getting off the topic here. I support POTUS. The office. Yes, in 2017 Donald J. Trump will become President of the United States of America. He will represent me to the best of his ability to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States. If he doesn’t…well there’s recourse. Legal ones. No President is a dictator. This isn’t Escape from LA. It’s 2016.

 

Your boy spent a good deal of time crafting this Miss.  he believes it was time well spent.  Your boy is interested in your viewpoint as well.

boy